My Kick in the Pants

Well, I have to be honest. That's always what I teach my kids, so I have to be an example. And, if I am being honest and following in my big sis' footsteps at reporting how I am doing every week, well, bleh. That's all I can really say. I did HORRIBLY this week. There's all kinds of excuses I could throw out there: I was lifting weights, so I put on some poundage; I started my period; I was stressed out because of school...But, really, what it boils down to is this: I binged. I don't know what my deal is. Am I trying to subconsciously sabotage myself? Maybe. Do I really want to gain every week as I have been since I started this blog? No. I went to Weight Watchers on Saturday morning, bright and early with two of my best buddies, Carina and Kim. Thank goodness they were there, because if Kim hadn't coaxed me out of the bathroom, I would have stayed in there the whole meeting crying into my soggy piece of toilet paper! As I mentioned, I gained, but the REAL kick in the pants was that I am back over 200. I am at 200.2. When I told this to Mike, he snickered a little and said one good poo would put me back under 200! He's right, but the point is that there was a "2" in front of my number again, which I promised myself would never happen! You have to understand that when I ran my half-marathon in October, I was right around 186. Maybe it's the winter blahs, maybe it's the crap that I ate over the holidays, who knows. I do know that seeing that 2 in front of my weight really gave me a reality check. Tears were shed, and resolutions were made, and I am proud to say that so far, I have kept those resolutions. I know, I know, I am only two days into it, but that number really affected me. It's so complicated, weight loss. Caradon, I think you are truly the only person who can really know what I mean, especially in regards to the pressure we get from ourselves and other individuals who are important in our lives. One thing I can say positive out of all this, is I realized just how supportive my husband is, after he tried to comfort me with visions of large...deposits...in said bathrooms. HE. RAN. FIVE. MILES. WITH. ME! Who out there can say that they ran five miles in just under an hour, laughing, and talking with their husband, enjoying the fresh morning air, sun peeking out from behind the clouds? I can! And, I think it ranks up there really high with some of the best moments of my life. At the end, he wasn't complaining; in fact, he said how much fun he had and how we need to do this every Saturday. I love that man!! So, now that I have had my kick in the pants, I will be proud to report in next week!! Now, is there any wood around here for me to knock on? Just in case? ;)

My First Week Ended

Well, if I have to be honest, I will tell you all that I am extremely disappointed in myself. Instead of losing a pound and a half this week, I gained two. I really don't know what happened! Either I didn't keep careful enough track of my intake or something, but whatever it was, it has made me feel horrible. So, this week I need to lose 3 in order to get back to where I need to be! I have done it before and I know that I can do it again, but it might be hard. I made myself a poster that has a whole bunch of pictures and positive sayings on it that I hung in my room. Hopefully, it will serve as some inspiration.

On a more positive note, Mike and I celebrated 12 years of wedded mostly-bliss. I can't believe that we have been married that long! We've been a couple for 14!! And, even after all that time, I still love him just as much as I did when we first met and my heart still jumps a little when he walks into a room. It's nice to be married to your best friend. Plus, he's given me the four most beautiful and sweet children in the world as a bonus!! I sure do love that boy. I can't wait to spend a week with him on a cruise to the Carribbean in August!! It will be wonderful!!

My Snuggle Date

Last night I had an awesome date. It wasn't with Mikey (although of course that would have been awesome) and it wasn't with some other studly man. Well, okay, maybe it was...but he wasn't the only one!! I had two amazing women with me as well! Claire fell asleep pretty early, and so did Mikey since he had to go to work so early this morning, so I got to have a snuggle date with Dallin, Emma, and Audrey. Now, I call it a snuggle date because Audrey claimed that I really don't snuggle her much. Kids have such picky memories, don't they? In my mind, my snuggle time with my kids is quite a lot considering how I don't really snuggle. But, I decided to show her, so I popped some popcorn and we sat in our HUGE armchair (it really is huge--it holds me AND Mike!) and we SNUGGLED! Emma and Dallin sat on the couch and we all flipped through Netflix. Anyone who doesn't have this, I would highly recommend it. I am hooked. It is only ten dollars a month, DVDs come in the mail and we can watch instant movies through our Wii which we just got for Christmas. Yes, we are finally joining the 21st century after a decade of actually being in it. Anyway, I decided to show them what funny, mindless entertainment really is, so we turned on Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Anyone who was alive in 1986 knows how popular Pee-Wee Herman was back then, and I am glad to say that he still entertains five-through-ten-year-olds as much today as he did back in 1986. Anyway, they loved it and Audrey and I snuggled like no one has ever snuggled before. Sam, you are jealous. Let's hope this snuggle date stays in Audrey's memory bank this time!

My Inspirations

Hello all,

I have been inspired by my wonderful sister, Caradon, to write this blog. She has taken a highly courageous step on her blog. She has posted pictures of herself, her weight, her measurements and everything as a starting point for a year-long journey she is going to take. She is going to try to lose 104 pounds in a year. That is a huge deal! I am so proud of her. Can I also take a moment to tell you, Caradon, that being your sister has always made me feel like I was on top of the world? I can remember many times throughout my school years bragging that I was your sister to my teachers or friends. In college, I loved being able to walk over to your apartment to hang out with my cool sister and her cool friends! When I met Mike, you were the first person I wanted to tell. When I got pregnant with my children, you were the first person I told (after Mike of course). I want you to know that I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!! Don't ever tell yourself you can't. I never would have thought a year ago that I would be able to run a half marathon without stopping to walk even once. Yet, I did it. I am so excited that you are possibly going to do it with me this year. It will be the best day of my life. I will have my husband, my beautiful sister, my awesome brother, my wonderful sister-in-law, and one of my dearest friends, Becky, join me.

So, to continue this blog after that tearful little interlude, I want to tell everyone that Caradon, along with countless other friends and family, have inspired me to get to where I am now. But, I have so much more to go. I will take your initiative, Caradon, and I will post my own weight, meaurements and story for the world to see. So, here it goes.

At my highest weight (excluding having just given birth, or being a nursing mother) I weighed 246 pounds, not much less than Caradon does now. Sadly, though, I don't have the lucky height that Caradon has, so I was quite a bit more portly. I will show you what I mean. This is me in December of 2005. Since this time, I have lost 50 pounds, which puts me at 196. Yay for me that I am under 200 pounds finally, but I do have a lot longer to go. I still want to lose 46 more pounds. So, I am using Caradon as my inspiration, as I have countless other times in my life, and I am going to take on this challenge for myself that she has made for herself! Except, I have a bit of a shorter time frame. I would like to lose my 46 pounds before August 14th, 2011. That is the day Mike and I will (hopefully) leave for a cruise to the Caribbean! We never had a honeymoon and we are celebrating 12 years of marriage on January 15th, so we figure it's about time we do something nice for ourselves.

Now, anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am a math and numbers girl. So, if you do the math, you will see that this gives me 31 weeks to fulfill my goal. 46 divided by 31 is 1.48 pounds per week. Even numbers are a good thing, so the goal will be to lose 1.5 pounds per week and I WILL be at my goal by August 14th. My measurements are as follows: Chest 43", Waist 39", Hips 45", Thighs 24", Arms 12". Here is a recent picture of me:

Some might think these pictures aren't too bad, and compared to the picture up above, they really aren't too bad. But, I am excited to see what I look like as I progress. I will post a written blog every week to keep everyone up on my progress, and I will post more pictures every two months. I know we can do this, Caradon!! We WILL be successful and we will be triumphant! I love you. Wish me luck, everyone!!
P.S. Anyone know how to delete pictures after I have posted them on my blog? If you can let me know, that'd be awesome!! ;)

My Lack of Motivation

Hello All,
Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote. Things have been busy. Christmas was extra hectic this year because we hosted a week-long reunion with all of Mike's siblings, their families, and Mike's parents. It was crazy, but we had a lot of fun. Things definitely seem empty and quiet around here now and Audrey has observed many times how "plain" the house looks now that we no longer have our decorations up.

On a better note, the kids are back in school, my house is mostly recovered, I still have my hair, and I have re-lost five of the ten pounds I gained while Mike's family was here. I thought that with the new year would come a new and resounded motivation for me to get back on track. But, alas, it has not yet arrived. I have done everything in my power to get it to come to me, but I just can't seem to convince myself that to stop eating so many sweets is actually a good thing! I will get there, though. 2011 is my year, I can feel it! There is a slim chance that Mike and I might be able to go on a cruise through Jamaica and the Carribbean for a week in August, so I will use that for my motivation. It may be a pipe dream at this point, but I will cling to it with all my might. Maybe the thought of me lounging on the beach with my honey looking like a large member of the ocean life, (rather than the svelte, sexy woman that is in there just dying to come out) will be enough of a push to find my motivation. In the meantime, the mirror will have to do! Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2011 brings with it everything wonderful for you and your families!!

My Christmas

I am ashamed to say I have not gotten my Christmas decor out, I have not gotten a tree, and we just barely got our house lights up. You'd think I'd be on top of that because of the huge Christmas we are having this year. Maybe that's why I haven't. I have been so busy with finals, getting the house clean and ready for company, busy with kids, etc, that I just haven't really thought about it. If it weren't for the kids constant reminding, I would be willing to bet that Christmas Eve would come along and I would sadly still be undecorated. It's odd too because I have been listening to Christmas music constantly, my Christmas shopping is done except for stocking stuffers, and we have been busily making all kinds of plans. But, yet, no decor. I had better get on top of this stuff!! We have less than three weeks until the big day!!

My Half Marathon

It's about time I got my procrastinating butt on here and typed an entry. I could give this whole list of excuses as to why I haven't gotten on here, but none of them would really fly, so I will just say that I am here now, so here I go. I participated in my half marathon on the 30th of October, and boy was it unlike anything I have ever experienced!! I thought all my training runs had given me an idea of what it would be like, but I guess I had no idea! Becky and I rode busses up to the tent at the starting line and waited for an hour and a half in the cold. We peed twice, tried unsuccessfully to take cute pictures of ourselves on our phones, and just chatted and had fun. It was nice to spend that time with my friend. But, as soon as the starting gun went off, we parted ways, Becky zooming ahead as I had expected her to and me trudging along behind. My goal had been to run the whole thing and get in at just under 2:30. I met one of those goals, the most important one: I ran the whole way, never stopping to walk even once. But, I missed my time goal by just a measly three minutes! I was frustrated for a split second, but then it hit me that I had just run a half marathon! Something not many people can say they have done! As is my tradition, I dedicated a mile to very special people in my life, so now starts the novel in which I tell everyone my dedications. I hope you have a while to sit and read!! Here goes:

Mile One: This one is for Pam Hansen. She is a writer and her story of loss in every sense of the word made me want to start running in the first place. She is a wonderful woman and I love her story!

Mile Two: This one is for all my friends who are always encouraging me, especially my "Ant" Cheri. They tell me constantly how great I am doing and how awesome I am looking. It is because of wonderful friends and family that people are able to make it through a day. Ant Cheri, you are and always will be my most favorite aunt in the world. You have always encouraged me as well as any mother could, and I am proud to be your "Button".

Mile Three: This mile is for one friend in particular: Becky Weller. She and I have run many races together, always checking in with each other, sharing our stories of painful muscles, incompetent lungs, horrible-tasting GU and many other runners' laments. Aside from that, she is my "Bestie" and I am grateful for her.

Mile Four: This one is for Jared Parkinson. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have trained nearly as hard, and I wouldn't have lost twenty pounds in two months. You are an amazing person, Jared, and I hope for only the best things to happen in your life.

Mile Five: This one is for Mom and Dad. Mom, you have always wanted your kids to live a better life, always improving and never accepting things just because they were easy. Dad, you always have a wise bit of advice to give, or a listening ear, and I have been so grateful for that in my times of crisis. Both of my parents are amazing and I am so incredibly grateful to have them in my life. Mom, I don't know if you know how badly I want to please you, but I am grateful you have taught me that life isn't about pleasing other people. It's about pleasing you Heavenly Father and yourself. Thanks for lovingly watching me twirl and helping me up when I fell. I love you both.

Mile Six: This one is for Caradon. Of course, it's for Brad and the boys too, but mostly for her. Caradon, you were my first best friend in this world, and you always will be my best friend. I am truly blessed to have had a sister as wonderful as you. I am always amazed at what a patient, unselfish, and loving person you are, and I can only hope and pray to aspire to reach your level of "perfection" someday. If everyone was like you, this world would be a much better place. I love you!

Mile Seven: Samantha, you were my first baby in this world. Even though you were technically Mom's daughter, you were MY baby, and I loved you so much. I still do and I always will. Even if your path in life is quite different than mine, I truly believe we will arrive at the same destination. I am just glad that I have your hand to hold onto when I feel alone or scared or need a really good belly laugh. You are always the person I will turn to for that. I love you more than any other little sister in this world! Tap, tap, tap.

Mile Eight: My Addie. Oh, how I miss you, my little brudder. You will never know how much, and I can't even explain why. You are the one who has encouraged me from the beginning telling me over and over that this is not an impossible task for me! Now, here I am, running a half marathon! I never would have thought that I would be out there doing something like that in a million years, and you will never know how many times your voice or your face has floated into my mind on my long runs, inspiring me to keep running. I love you so much!!

Mile Nine: To my kids. You guys are what keep me going. Whenever I feel like checking out, your sweet little voices and your beautiful laughter fill my ears and my heart overflows with love. Granted, you also provide me with the most trials in my life, but those are what make people stronger. You four are my life and I would be dead without you. I am doing this so I can hopefully be an example to you of a healthy lifestyle and so I can be around for a long time with you. I love you, my sweet babies, more than you will ever know!

Mile Ten: Okay, here come the major waterworks. This mile is for my Papa. I know that even though you aren't here with me physically, Papa, you are there with me on the course. You have been with me through every run I have finished, every triumph I have experienced in my life. I know that you are proud of me. I heard a quote once. It goes like this, "This is for my grandfather, who never, ever could have run a marathon, and who never, ever would have doubted for a moment that I could." This describes my Papa perfectly. He always made me feel like the most important, amazing child in the world. I love you so much, Papa. You are etched into my heart permanently, and when I die, yours will be the first face I fervently search for.

Mile Eleven: Now, I am nearing the end of my journey, so this mile goes to the one who has been my biggest support. Mike, you have always been there for me, even when I don't deserve it. Whether you are texting me on my runs, encouraging me to keep going, or rubbing my feet afterwards after holding my hair back so I could puke! You told me how beautiful I was even when I was at my worst. You have loved me unconditionally since we met, and if it weren't for you, I might be dead right now. Mike, you are my heart. My life has more laughter, more love, and more happiness in it because of you. I love you the most!! =0)

Mile Twelve: Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I cannot count how many times I have come to both of you tears, pleading for help, and always feeling like things were going to be okay once I got up off my knees. My Savior has given the ultimate sacrifice so that I can come back to live with Him and my Father in Heaven again. The least I can do is try my hardest to be a better person for them both. Nothing in my life that has been good has happened without your guiding hand, Father. I know that thou art my strength and my guide--all I have to do is follow.

Mile Thirteen Point One: This mile is for me. Ultimately, I am the one who has put in all the hard work. Even with contracts or encouraging words from friends and family, I could have easily given up a long time ago, but I didn't. I know that I am stronger than I once was and I can only get stronger. Even if I don't make it to the end of this race in less than 2 1/2 hours, at least I will make it to the end. That much I know, because I am a strong, capable, beautiful woman. I can do anything I put my mind to.