So, I thought I would try something new this morning. I decided to test the responsibility of my nine-year-old-going-on-forty-year-old and leave her home alone with the kids while I ran around the block over and over. Now, granted, I had timed myself and I knew that I would be passing the house every 4 minutes and 10 seconds, but I was still worried. Nonetheless, I decided I would give it a try for 30 minutes. The kids were all still asleep, what could really go wrong? Right?
So, I strapped on my running shoes, put in my iPod, and started my jaunt. Now, I knew deep inside that the kids were all sound asleep in their beds. I had locked the bolt lock behind me and I had my keys in my hand. But, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen while I was gone. Maybe Claire would have a nightmare and wake up screaming. Audrey would have to wait a full 4 minutes and 10 seconds before I could get there to comfort her! I kept running, but now I figured I would limit my run to 25 minutes.
Then, as I continued to run past a neighbor's house, their sprinkler splashed my ankles. A fresh thought came to mind: What if for some reason the house randomly flooded? A lot of damage could happen in 4 minutes and 10 seconds! I kept running, but decided that 20 minutes might be more realistic.
As I kept running, listening to a little Imogen and feeling the wind blowing on my face, a new thought came to my mind. What if all of a sudden this wind gets really strong and blows a tree over onto my roof? What if my kids are pinned under it and they can't breathe for 4 minutes and 10 seconds? A lot of brain damage could happen in that amount of time!
I rounded the fourth corner and came into sight of my house. Okay, things looked good. Audrey wasn't peeking out the front window waiting for my arrival, so maybe I can make another lap, but I think I will cut my run to fifteen minutes instead. That seems more realistic for the first time of her being in charge. I continued to run.
Then, a new thought came to mind as my lungs finally gave out on me and I started to walk. What if someone breaks into my open-a-crack front window?! At that very moment, some stranger could be trudging through my home, searching for expensive items to steal (which he wouldn't find) or yummy food to eat (which he also wouldn't find). Or, maybe he was looking for innocent children to kidnap who have been left with their nine-year-old-going-on-forty-year-old sister by a mother who cares more about running than protecting her children!!!! Those he would have found! I sped up my walking.
I looked down at my time keeper and realized that I was almost at 10 minutes. I think that would be enough for the day. I came around that final corner to my house, standing quietly, bolt lock still locked, children still sleeping peacefully. Ah, justification, it's a good thing. Next time, I will do fifteen minutes, I think. But, for today, my daughter is still not quite ready to watch her siblings by herself for very long, right? Right? Or, is it me who's not ready for her to be ready? Either way, ten minutes felt like a hundred. Baby steps.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My New Beginning
I figure "A New Beginning" should be an aptly-named title for today's blog for many reasons. One, because it's been a year and a half since I have written last and it would be ridiculous to even attempt to fit all that's happened into one blog. And, two, because I am using this blog now, not only for my family news, but also for my own personal journey that I have embarked on many times. The end result of that journey, so far, has been incredibly elusive, but I am inching ever closer, it's just taking me forever to do it.
Anyone who knows me, knows what that journey is and has been for most of my life. Maybe the reason I am not succeeding is because deep in my subconscious, I would be afraid to know what my life would be like if I didn't have to be on this never-ending roller coaster that I call weight loss. Why is it so important to me in the first place? Is it because of the constant reminding from my dear mommy that I should be weighing less? Is it society's idea of how a woman should look that affects me so much? Is it that I want to be an example to my own daughters? Or, does it just boil down to the plain, simple, and ugly truth that is...VANITY? I don't know. Whatever the reason is, I am on this ride until the end whether I like it or not. Maybe once I reach my destination, I will create a new ride for myself, but until then, I am on the weight loss ride.
So, here I sit. Wearing my "Truffle Shuffle" T-shirt, so indicative of the way I feel most of the time. Looking out the window at the night sky knowing that I should be out there running. But, instead I am posting a new blog, with the justification in my mind that I already walked for an hour today to the library and back. Plus, I have to start sometime, don't I?
So, here's my plan. My original inspiration started with a book called "Running With Angels" written by Pam Hansen. She wrote about her journey to lose over 100 pounds after losing two children. She decided to run a marathon. My new book of inspiration to add to my mental shelf is called "A Non-Runner's Marathon Guide for Women" by Dawn Dais. It is a fricking hilarious book, and if anyone wants to read a book that would inspire them to at least enjoy the idea of running, this is the book for them. This woman has a sense of humor that is sarcastic as any and I thoroughly enjoy that. Again, those who know me even a little know that sarcasm is the best form of humor in my opinion. The dedication in her book, though, is what really caught my eye. It is a very serious and touching dedication, probably to balance out the humorous content of the book. It says, "For my grandfather, who never could have finished a marathon, and who never would have doubted for one second that I could."
Here it is again: If you know me at all, you know that not only am I a sarcastic person, I am also a very emotional person and I love my grandfather very much. I love all my grandparents, but my Papa holds a special place in my heart that has ached for him since the day he died almost nineteen years ago. Maybe if I dedicate my journey to him, I would do better.
Every day, I will try to write in this blog. Let's see how long this new resolution lasts! It might be about my training for the day. It might be about the family and what we are up to, or it just might be about what I had for breakfast. Whatever I write about, I truly hope today's entry will, in fact, be a new beginning.
Anyone who knows me, knows what that journey is and has been for most of my life. Maybe the reason I am not succeeding is because deep in my subconscious, I would be afraid to know what my life would be like if I didn't have to be on this never-ending roller coaster that I call weight loss. Why is it so important to me in the first place? Is it because of the constant reminding from my dear mommy that I should be weighing less? Is it society's idea of how a woman should look that affects me so much? Is it that I want to be an example to my own daughters? Or, does it just boil down to the plain, simple, and ugly truth that is...VANITY? I don't know. Whatever the reason is, I am on this ride until the end whether I like it or not. Maybe once I reach my destination, I will create a new ride for myself, but until then, I am on the weight loss ride.
So, here I sit. Wearing my "Truffle Shuffle" T-shirt, so indicative of the way I feel most of the time. Looking out the window at the night sky knowing that I should be out there running. But, instead I am posting a new blog, with the justification in my mind that I already walked for an hour today to the library and back. Plus, I have to start sometime, don't I?
So, here's my plan. My original inspiration started with a book called "Running With Angels" written by Pam Hansen. She wrote about her journey to lose over 100 pounds after losing two children. She decided to run a marathon. My new book of inspiration to add to my mental shelf is called "A Non-Runner's Marathon Guide for Women" by Dawn Dais. It is a fricking hilarious book, and if anyone wants to read a book that would inspire them to at least enjoy the idea of running, this is the book for them. This woman has a sense of humor that is sarcastic as any and I thoroughly enjoy that. Again, those who know me even a little know that sarcasm is the best form of humor in my opinion. The dedication in her book, though, is what really caught my eye. It is a very serious and touching dedication, probably to balance out the humorous content of the book. It says, "For my grandfather, who never could have finished a marathon, and who never would have doubted for one second that I could."
Here it is again: If you know me at all, you know that not only am I a sarcastic person, I am also a very emotional person and I love my grandfather very much. I love all my grandparents, but my Papa holds a special place in my heart that has ached for him since the day he died almost nineteen years ago. Maybe if I dedicate my journey to him, I would do better.
Every day, I will try to write in this blog. Let's see how long this new resolution lasts! It might be about my training for the day. It might be about the family and what we are up to, or it just might be about what I had for breakfast. Whatever I write about, I truly hope today's entry will, in fact, be a new beginning.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Halloween Part 2
Dallin decided to be a scary ghost. Adam thinks he looks like a dead choirboy. How rude, Adam! Ü He looked cute as ever. He was so excited to go to school in his outfit and the school had a little parade that both he and Audrey were in. One of these days I will be a good mom and actually go. Emma was a cute little Tinkerbell, and Claire was a pot of Hunny. She was the most adorable pot of hunny you have ever seen! I am purposely misspelling honey to give it the right effect. We went to Daddy's work and had a little celebration there. They were doing trick-or-treating and had a room with food and games. We took Lacey, one of my daycare girls with us and we had a lot of fun. There isn't much else to tell. I hope everyone had as nice of a Halloween as we did! See you again soon.
Halloween
Hello everyone!
Well, another Halloween has come and gone, and what a success it was. I admit, I have lost my patience with finding candy wrappers everywhere I look, but if that's all I have to deal with, I will do it with pleasure. My kids got to go trick-or-treating with their daddy which they loved! They haven't been able to do that since 2006! This was Emma's first year, and I can tell the bug has been planted with her. I am doing what my mom used to do and after picking a few things for myself, I have let them have free rein on their candy. They know that once it's gone, it's gone and if they get sick, too bad for them! Ü
This year, Audrey wanted to be Cruella DeVil. Being that we don't ever have any money, I had to make do with what I had. I let her use my black dress which we pinned to fit. She wore her own tights and shoes, and we agreed that Cruella could forgo her fur this time. I know, I know, she's not Cruella unless she is draped in fur, but we couldn't find any. So, the hair had to do the trick!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Our Trip to Logan
Hello all,
Well, we have been back from Logan for a few days now. I am kind of wishing I was back there (no Sam, not so I can be with you) so my mom can watch my kids for me. It's amazing how fast they grow up, yet how slow they grow up. It's kind of funny. We had a really nice weekend. We went on a walk through the pumpkins that locals had carved to create scenes from movies, TV, etc. It was pretty neat. On Saturday night, Mike watched the kids so Mom, Sam, and I could go on a girl's night out. We went into an adult store. Yes, Mom, I am giving away the fact that you were curious. Caradon and Sam are the only ones who read this anyway. Sam didn't have her ID, so she couldn't go in the "back." Don't worry, you weren't missing anything. We also went to Bluebird Cafe to have ice cream, and we saw the move "Ghost Town." If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.
I can't think of anything else to add. So, for now I am going to part since it is late and I have to wake up extra early to go to the gym. I will talk to everyone later!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Starting this thing!
Hi all! I am now going to join the ranks of the "bloggers" out there and open up my world for everyone to see. I guess it's somewhat similar to Facebook, but anyone can look at it. Things in our lives are going well. Mike is continuing work at Wheeler Machinery, and enjoying it for the most part. He is having trouble with the politics of being in management, but I think with time, he will learn to make things work. His biggest issue is learning how to let things not affect him personally and letting things roll off his back. That will come with time, I hope! During his spare time, he loves being out in his garage even if it's just cleaning. He tries to get sleep when he can, but it's pretty rare since when he's here, the kids are all over him trying to get his attention. Audrey recently turned eight and was baptised! We were all so excited. It was a great program, lots of planning on my part, but everything went smoothly. She was thrilled to be an official member and lots of her friends and family came to join us. She didn't really have a big party since we had the baptism, but we had a family party after the event and celebrated both her and Emma's birthdays. I can't believe my baby is eight years old! It seems like it wasn't really that long ago she was born, and then that we moved to Utah when she was still three. Hard to believe that as well. She is enjoying 2nd grade and thriving as expected. She is reading on a fourth grade level, and everything else on a fifth grade level. I am extremely proud of her. We just finished reading "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and we are trying to decide what to read next.
Dallin has started Kindergarten, and he is really liking it a lot. He is slowly learning his letters, but excels in math and numbers. We had some behavioral issues at the beginning, but with time and a chart at home, we are improving in leaps and bounds in that area. He has made a few friends, but has trouble remembering their names. His teacher is Miss Gifford and he really likes her a lot. I am grateful for that. He tries to be helpful at home, and does a good job making sure his dog, Turbo, is fed every day. Again, another child I can't believe is five and a half already!
Emma just turned three on the 22nd of September. We are working on potty training, but not having much success. Even candy and a star chart aren't helping! I keep thinking I need to just let her decide when she is ready, but in the meantime, I just need to be patient. She is such a sweet little girl for the most part, always trying to fit in with her big brother and sister. I have started watching two little girls every day, one of which is about a year older than her. They get along pretty well, so it's nice for Emma to have a friend to play with every day.
Claire, our baby, is 16 months old and finally walking! It took her a while to reach all the milestones, but she is thriving now. She loves to keep up with all her older siblings, and she is constantly smiling and bringing such a sweet spirit into our home! We love to have her around and love seeing her discover new things every day. She is learning words, and learning that all she has to do is scream her little banshee scream in order to get her way. We are trying to nip that one in the bud right now!
As for me, I am staying home yearning for something new. I love to be able to be with my kids, but I am itching to go back to school or something--something different. But, until that's possible, I am enjoying my daycare kids and keeping house. I love watching my kids grow and change every day, and I really enjoy our reading time together and our homework time. I also love to talk with friends and family on the phone as a means of a connection to the outside world, but since I don't have long distance, that's kind of hard. So, Mike and Samantha get called a lot since they are local numbers! Well, I think that's it for now. We are coming up on the holidays which we can't wait for. Then, Mike and I will be celebrating our ten-year anniversary in January! I can't believe how much has happened in ten years and how fast it's gone! I look forward to all the wonderful things yet to happen in the next ten years!
Dallin has started Kindergarten, and he is really liking it a lot. He is slowly learning his letters, but excels in math and numbers. We had some behavioral issues at the beginning, but with time and a chart at home, we are improving in leaps and bounds in that area. He has made a few friends, but has trouble remembering their names. His teacher is Miss Gifford and he really likes her a lot. I am grateful for that. He tries to be helpful at home, and does a good job making sure his dog, Turbo, is fed every day. Again, another child I can't believe is five and a half already!
Emma just turned three on the 22nd of September. We are working on potty training, but not having much success. Even candy and a star chart aren't helping! I keep thinking I need to just let her decide when she is ready, but in the meantime, I just need to be patient. She is such a sweet little girl for the most part, always trying to fit in with her big brother and sister. I have started watching two little girls every day, one of which is about a year older than her. They get along pretty well, so it's nice for Emma to have a friend to play with every day.
Claire, our baby, is 16 months old and finally walking! It took her a while to reach all the milestones, but she is thriving now. She loves to keep up with all her older siblings, and she is constantly smiling and bringing such a sweet spirit into our home! We love to have her around and love seeing her discover new things every day. She is learning words, and learning that all she has to do is scream her little banshee scream in order to get her way. We are trying to nip that one in the bud right now!
As for me, I am staying home yearning for something new. I love to be able to be with my kids, but I am itching to go back to school or something--something different. But, until that's possible, I am enjoying my daycare kids and keeping house. I love watching my kids grow and change every day, and I really enjoy our reading time together and our homework time. I also love to talk with friends and family on the phone as a means of a connection to the outside world, but since I don't have long distance, that's kind of hard. So, Mike and Samantha get called a lot since they are local numbers! Well, I think that's it for now. We are coming up on the holidays which we can't wait for. Then, Mike and I will be celebrating our ten-year anniversary in January! I can't believe how much has happened in ten years and how fast it's gone! I look forward to all the wonderful things yet to happen in the next ten years!
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