My "It's Not Fair" Face

     There are days--and I have no doubt that everyone has them--that I wish I could be anyone but me.  When I was young, there was this book called "It's Not Fair!" and it was all these pictures of kids comparing their lives to other people's and telling why what they had wasn't fair.  I really can't do the kids' faces justice because the drawings were hilarious, but they would always have a scowl and their lips would be sticking out very far, like a duck beak.  My siblings used to tease me that I looked like them, and now that we are older, we all laugh about it.  I've looked all over the Internet, but I can't find it anywhere, and I certainly can't remember who the illustrator was, so onto my point.
     I don't know if just women do this, but I find myself comparing myself to other people all the time.  "Oh, I wish I had Caradon's gorgeous, thick hair instead of my thin, limp hair."  Then there is, "I wish my teeth were as white as Samantha's," or "I wish I was as thin as that girl," or "I wish I could wear that outfit."  It's sad that I find myself comparing my weaknesses against everyone else's strengths.  But, doing this got me thinking...are there people out there wishing they could be like me?  Is there someone out there wishing that they had kind, well-behaved kids?  Is there someone out there wishing they had a really hot husband who also cooked, scraped the dry skin off their feet, and thought his wife was beautiful?  I'm sure there is, and sometimes I wish that person would say something to me.  It would be nice every once in a while to hear something good from someone who isn't required to think you are amazing.

     Because I feel that way, I always try to do the same for other people.  Every time I see someone with beautiful hair, or really great style, or a fabulous handle-bar moustache...I tell them!  It certainly never hurts, and they usually respond with a smile and a "thank you!"  Hopefully, what goes around will come around and more people will be willing to pay compliments instead of moping with their "It's Not Fair" face, just wishing they were somebody else.  I'm going to work on that--try to see my strengths more often and when I look in the mirror, no more pouting.  I'll just have to see the good things and maybe someday I'll believe them.

My Internship

          It has been too long since I have posted anything in my blog.   I am sure any of you who actually read it (maybe 2 or 3 people?) are wondering if I gave up.  I haven't.  I just have had a lot on my plate these past few weeks...er, months...er, years?!  It's been a while!  Well, here I am now, probably a lonely post until the next one.  Who knows when that will be?  Anyway, on to my story!

           As all of you know, I have been in school since May 2010.  I have been working my little tooshy off, but it's been a really slow process.  Once we moved here to Texas, I decided I would plow through it as fast as I could.  So, that's what I've been doing.  There have been a few bumps and snafus along the way, but for the most part I have done really well.  All of this studying is in planning to try to enter the accounting world with a career that I love, Bachelor's, Master's, and CPA in hand.  Well, part of that process is to get an internship for some real-world experience.

          The whole process started back in February.  I went to the school's Firm Night.  This is where all the accounting firms in the area (including some from the "Big Four") come to meet potential candidates.  I had signed up for speed networking--essentially a speed dating process, I assume, although I have never done one of those.  Anyway, I had to sit down at a table with recruiters and discuss in four minutes or less why I would be a good candidate for their company.  Needless to say, I was terrified.  By the end of the night, however, I had become an old pro at explaining my resume in a nutshell.  After it was all done, I went back to life as normal.

          Three days later I received an email from a small firm in Dallas saying they had been really impressed with me and wanted to pursue an internship for me at their company.  I was excited, but still wanted to explore other options.  So, I logged onto the school's career site and started submitting my resume to various companies--or at least, that's what I wanted to do.  Being that my GPA was an abysmal 2.9 (long story--definitely one for another post), I couldn't apply with anyone from the Big Four.  I was sad about that, but at the same time, I don't know if I would want to work for one of them.  I had heard horror stories about working 100-hour workweeks and being a number in a herd of minions.  Being that I am a mom to four very active children, I wanted a mid-sized firm.  So, I applied to two more.

         At this point, I had three potential internships.  Both of the ones I applied for chose me to do a campus interview.  If that went well, I would then have an office visit with other interviews during that time which would be the final step before receiving an offer.  To make a long story short, my campus interviews went well and I was asked for an office visit to all three firms.  I went to the first one that had pursued me, and to make another long story short, they offered me an internship, withdrew it saying they weren't sure if I could give them the time they would need and they didn't think I could handle the commute.  Then they called me back a few weeks later saying they would actually like to offer me an internship after all.  Of course, I had already washed my hands of them, so I very politely told them no, thank you.

          One of the companies invited me to a social event at this place called Top Golf.  It was a driving range of sorts with three levels facing out to goals.  The point was to try to hit the golf ball as far as one could and make it into the various targets.  Here is what the building looked like:

You can't see the goals, but they are on the left.  The building is just open platforms facing the green.  It's way cool.  It was a lot of fun to be there and the people were all really nice.  I had decided right then that this was the firm that I wanted to go to.

A few weeks later, I went to their office for an office visit.  Again, a lot of fun.  Everyone was very friendly and the office was really pretty.  I had enjoyable interviews and a nice lunch.  I had a great feeling when I left that I would get an offer, but obviously I wasn't sure.

A few days later I went to the office visit of the other firm I had applied to, LGT.  It was a really great day as well.  The firm was smack dab in uptown Dallas, so it was very fancy.  Maybe even a little TOO fancy for me.  As much as I would like to think that I could fit in to the hardcore business world, I need some place where I can be me and not worry about keeping up appearances.

Long story short again, I did not receive an offer from the third company (LGT), but I did receive one from MCG which I was ecstatic about since this was the one I wanted anyway!  My internship will start in February of 2015 (super long way away, but that gives me a chance to take my tax accounting class to get me familiar with what I will be doing) and go until May.  I. Can't. Wait!  Here is a picture of the building:

Sorry, it's a little grainy, but it sure is nice!  It even has a gym on the first floor that we can get free membership to!   Maybe it will encourage me to get back to my running days' figure! =-)

My Dear Friends

      Coming up on Saturday, one of my very dearest friends, Kim Mortensen, is coming to visit me all the way from Taylorsville and she's bringing my adopted daughters (her own daughters, of course) with her.  It is a surprise for the younger kids (Alexia and Audrey already know and being that they, too, are best friends, have been texting each other excitedly about it for weeks).  I really need her visit right now, but more on that later.  It is not often that you find people who make you feel like you can say or do just about anything and they will still love you.  Not only will they love you, but they will do those things right along with you.   Kim is one of few people who will go for an early morning run with me and stick by me even if my flatulence may be acting up that morning, or if my complaining level is especially high.  She acts like a dork just like me, running, jumping, and screaming through IHOP parking lots when we see each other for the first time in a year.  She will sit and cry with me when I am feeling down and she forgives me when I make mistakes.  I have many plans for when she comes, but my most important plan will be just to be together, not really caring what we do. 

     I have another dear friend, Carina Bennett, who has also made plans to come and visit me in February.  I don't know yet if they will come to fruition, but I sure do hope they will!!  This woman is amazing.  She has five beautiful kids who are smart  and well-behaved.  She is humble and kind and one of the most giving people I have ever met.  She makes you feel happy just by being around her.  She has the same paranoias as I do, so I don't feel silly sharing them with her--whether they are about myself, my kids, my calling, school, whatever.  I can tell her anything and usually she has felt the same way.  She too, is a total goofball when she wants to be and it makes my life so much fun.  She participated in the Dirty Dash with me, Kim, my baby sister Sam, and another dear friend, Cheryl, back in 2011 before I had to go and move to dumb old Texas.  I am convinced to this day that she had more fun playing in the mud than all of us!  She was the first friend I made when we moved to Taylorsville back in 2007, and she has stuck by me through thick and thin.  That is a true friend indeed.

I have many other friends that I would love to write a paragraph each about: Becky Weller, the one who always has wise advice for me, yet also has no problem when my questions have no filters whatsoever--she knows what I mean! =)  Or, Sarah Morgan Ashliman, the friend I have had the longest who gets me T-shirts saying that Safety is Sexy and both of us can laugh hysterically at it while everyone else sits around wondering what the heck we are laughing at!   There is Heidi Lambright, a friend who even after not seeing each other for ten years, can still pick up with me right where we left off, reminiscing and talking for hours on end.  Or Melissa Ivie, a friend that I can tell just about anything to as well, and I know I won't be judged.  She is a friend who will give you whatever she can to make your life that much more bearable and never asks for anything in return.  Then there is little Misterissa Parkinson who was recently married and even in her youth is able to provide endless amounts of wise words for me. I love her and miss her daily. And, don't even get me started on my sisters or my brother, or my parents or my aunt.  I could seriously write a million pages about each of them it seems, so that will have to be saved for another journal entry entirely.  My list of people who love me is endless, it seems.

     Needless to say, I am blessed with amazing people in my life.  I am so lucky to have each and every one of them.  Recently I went through a very trying situation and although it only lasted a few hours, it seemed like an eternity (thus the reason for really needing this visit).  After much soul-searching and prayer following this event, I realized that  I have all of these amazing people in my life who love me unconditionally.  I love those kinds of people!

     So, hurry up, Saturday!!!  I need my Kim and my Alexia and my little Lacey!!  It just can't get here fast enough!!

My Fun Run in the Rain

Lately I have been noticing how much I have been missing my running.  I was at the YMCA the other day on the treadmill and I decided to really push myself.  It was awesome and I got so excited, I started to cry.  It was awkward, especially for the guy next to me, but I quickly got it together.  I think I cried because I remembered how much I loved life in the last quarter of 2010.  I was running ALL THE TIME and I felt the BEST that I can ever remember feeling.  I want that again.  So, I ran 2 miles on the treadmill at the Y about a week ago.  Then yesterday, the weather was perfect here, which is very rare in July, so I went for a run in the rain.  I haven't done that in a long time, but I gotta say, it was fantastic.  The rain here is warm, but it was only 72 degrees yesterday which was perfect.  I ran a 5k!  It felt GREAT!  I cannot emphasize it enough!  Soon, I hope, I am going to finally find my groove again and finally find ME.  It will be a happy day indeed.  Then Samantha will make a movie about it called "How Lindsay Got Her Groove Back."  Does that sound good, Sam?  Today I am going to take another rest day, but tomorrow you can bet I'll be back out there pounding the pavement.  I have to take advantage of all this rain!

My Overzealousness

It always seems like when I decide to do something, it's all or nothing.  I can't do anything half-assed and if I don't do it perfectly full throttle, I will drop it and give up.  It's a frustrating part of my personality that I wish I could change.  I am noticing this with my calling in church.  I am the compassionate service coordinator.  I have been trying to get people to essentially babysit this woman in our ward who has a multitude of health issues, but I can't seem to get people to sign up.  It's very frustrating.   So, I find myself feeling like I should go to the bishop and ask to be released and I haven't even been doing it for three months yet! 

Why is it that we are so picky about things?  Well, I guess that I am picky about things.  I just can't seem to let go of this idea that I need to do everything perfectly or I shouldn't even try.  I can remember when we were living in Utah, I sent the kids to my mom's for a weekend so Mike and I could gut out and clean the entire house from top to bottom.  A few of my friends came to help, including my friend Becky.  She made the comment that I don't do anything small.  It's true!  I have been contemplating lately that I would like to do the same thing to this house here, but I have no parents to send the kids to stay with.  They are in Utah.  I will have to wait until they come to stay a while in December.  I can't wait for that day! =)

My Dream Dog

As promised, I am now going to tell you about Nikki.  As silly as it sounds, I think the difference between this dog and all our previous ones is the fact that this one is a girl.  I know that is a "duh" statement, but I really think girl dogs have a much better temperament than boys.  Plus, there isn't that whole male bravado thing that forces them to think they have to pee everywhere to let everyone know the territory belongs to them.  She is absolutely our dream dog.  She is well-mannered, she is excellent with the kids, she is highly potty trained, and best of all, she sleeps most of the day.  She is an indoor dog.  Since Bulldogs have such small tracheas and short snouts, they shouldn't stay outside in extreme heat.  Their trachea swells up and closes and they can't breathe.  So, Nikki stays inside all day.  The best way to describe her is to show you what I mean, so here are some pictures.

As you can see, she is a lot of fun and since I named her after my sister, I can't get rid of her.  Ever. =-)

 

Okay, three things I like about me: This morning I actually got up and went for a 2-mile walk rather than continuing to sleep.  I have a nice home.  I have lots of friends who love me for me and are always helping me to be a better person.  Love them!!!

My Full-Grown Daughter

It has happened.  My daughter is as tall as me when we are both in bare feet.  Where did the time go?  Why is she the same height as I am at only 12?  The other night we went to a buffet restaurant and her back was turned to the cashier as she was getting her drink.  Mike was telling the cashier our kids' ages and he pointed to her and said, "She is 12..."  The lady laughed and kept looking at him as if to say, "Please tell me her real age."  He just smiled and said, "She's twelve."  Then, Audrey turned around and walked over to the cashier and the girl was like, "Oh, wow, I totally thought you were kidding!  You are so tall!"  I don't know if Audrey likes this or not.  Some girls would be pleased to be thought of as an adult at such a young age, but at the same time it prevents her from doing things she really wants to.

For example, I recently signed all the girls up to take gymnastics classes.  Audrey is 12 and very much a beginner, but she attended one class and had a lot of fun.  Last night I got a call from the owner of the business saying they had had a coaches meeting and they had discussed Audrey.  None of her teachers are tall enough to spot Audrey as she learns some of the new moves.  So, either we pull Audrey out, or we wait until the lady's daughter gets home from school for the summer.  The problem is, what happens to Audrey when the daughter leaves again?  I want to keep her enrolled in some sort of athletic activity to keep her active, but I don't really have any idea what would work for a beginning "adult".  Because, although she is not mentally an adult, she is physically the same size as an adult. 

Anyway, hopefully I will get this whole thing sorted out.  In the meantime, I am going to cherish all the time I have left with my daughter, because I have only six years left until she moves out of the house.  That is going to be a day that I will never be prepared for. 

Okay, three things I like about my life: I love the fact that I have a husband who not only is constantly complimenting me, even at my heaviest or when I'm feeling not so pretty, but is also a very hard worker and is willing to do whatever it takes to provide for us.  I love that I have four beautiful children who bring joy and laughter into our home every moment.  I love that I finally have the dog of my dreams and that the rest of the family loves her too and that she never pees in the house!  She's finally a keeper!