Sunday, May 8, 2011

My Mom


I feel like I need to post this blog so I can express to you how much I love you. (By the way, for those of you who don't know, this is a picture of my mom playing a nun in a community production of "The Sound of Music." She and I were backstage.) As you know, I have always been better at expressing my feelings with words on paper rather than out loud, and I want everyone to be able to hear what I have to say. I remember countless Mother's Day duets with you. Usually, we would sing My Mother, My Daughter. "The seasons come, the seasons go, and I see you grow. The light of faith is in your eyes. It was planted long ago. I weep for your sorrows, smile when life is fair, I speak your name in each tender prayer...." I loved that tradition that we had. So, today at church, I sang in Relief Society with my two beautiful children, Dallin and Audrey. It brought back a flood of memories,(and tears) especially when I explained a little about my history with singing on Mother's Day to the ladies in the room.

When I was young, I never fully appreciated you, and I am sorry for that. I remember that day at Scott's cabin. Nothing needs to be said about it because we both know what I am talking about. But, that memory is cemented in my head to this day, so vividly, and I think that it's there for a very good reason. Probably many reasons. But, the main thing I want to say in reference to that day is how very much I love you. You were so quick to always forgive me, even if I had hurt you to your very core. I know that one of these days, probably sooner than I would like, my own daughters may feel those things about me. But, they will also realize when they are moms, how right I actually was, just like I have realized that about you.

But, today is a day for me to remind you how great you truly are. So many times, you stayed awake with us all night long when we were sick. I don't think there was a single concert that I ever had that you weren't either in attendance for or playing the piano for. You managed to always sign us kids up for various classes and other extracurricular activities on a limited budget. You and I shared an amazing once-in-a-lifetime experience in Europe that I will never forget either. I think you may have actually been cooler than I realized at the time! You always encouraged us in our constantly changing life ambitions. You were always there to pick me up after I fell, and I fell many times. You never told me I couldn't do something! In your mind, there was nothing we couldn't do as long as we put our minds to it. Now that I am a mom, I realize how lucky I am to have had you there to raise me, to teach me what it means to truly be a strong woman. You dealt with so much, and yet you are still so strong! So, on this day, I want you to know how very much I love you. I want you to know what a tremendous impact you have for good on so many people's lives every day. If I can even be a shred of the kind of mother you are, I will be so grateful! Never again will I say that I don't want to be like you, because quite frankly, there's no one else I would RATHER be like! I hope you know how very much I truly value your friendship, your opinion, and your love. I will always try to twirl for you, and I can't wait to watch my own daughters twirl their way through life for me. Thank you for everything you do for me every day. Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!

"I've watched you, dear mother, each day of my life. I've seen how you smile through the joy and the strife. I've needed your love, and have known you were there. I've seen how you help to bring answers to prayers...depending on my love, my dear mother..."

Always your Pixie...


Friday, May 6, 2011

My Much-Needed Break

Well, Hello All! Here is a long overdue fill-in on what is going on with the fam. I have finally finished the semester (Spring) and due to no financial aid available to me, I am taking a forced vacation from school for the summer. I think it will be good. The kids were starting to complain that I was ALWAYS doing homework (which isn't too far from the truth) and I wasn't spending enough time with them. So, now they will have me all summer long and quite frankly, they will most likely get pretty sick of me. So, here I am, sitting at my blog, listening to my dishwasher run in the background, knowing that my house is pretty clean (for my standards, not my mom's) and feeling pretty decent. I need to get out for a run. Anyway, that's what's up with me. Now for the rest of the family!

Mike is doing okay. Things at work are very slow, and he is really struggling to find a spot there where he feels comfortable. Ever since the false accusation made at him at work, he has constantly felt anger and a huge desire to leave. I certainly can't blame him. But, considering the economy is what it is right now, he's lucky to have a job, so we aren't going to complain too much. Besides work, he is having a much better time. He has lots of side jobs lined up for extra money, but that hasn't stopped him from making time to take Dallin to the skate park or go to soccer games and practices for Audrey and Dallin. Which brings me to my next group: the kids. Audrey and Dallin are playing Spring Outdoor Soccer. Audrey doesn't like it as much and she is ready to try a new sport, but Dallin likes it quite a bit. They are both getting so big. Dallin just turned eight yesterday! I can't believe I have another child getting baptized! I am thrilled, but I am a little sad too. It's amazing how fast one's kids grow up. I have heard the saying, "The days go so slowly, yet the years fly by so fast." It is all too true. Claire will be turning four in a month, and she and Emma are graduating from preschool at the end of May. Well, technically, Claire will be coming back for another year, but Emma is movin on up to Kindergarten. She is very excited, as am I. She has a major jump on the other kids, as she already knows all her letters and sounds and has even started forming them into words. I am constantly amazed at how smart all of my children are.

On sadder news, Mike and I had to cancel our cruise. We are both pretty devastated. We were really looking forward to getting away, just the two of us. Maybe we can afford later to stay in a bed and breakfast for a night or something instead. We are hoping to put together a fun family vacation for sometime in September, right around the three birthdays. We will tell the girls we are going to have a vacation this year to celebrate all our birthdays rather than parties and presents. Hopefully, that will fly! Anyway, we are still trudging along, trying to get everything squared away. Spring always seems to bring with it rebirth and a newfound feeling of rejuvenation. It always seems to help me feel better about life, even when things aren't going as well as I would like. Hope all is well with everyone else! Love you all!