Wednesday, November 30, 2016

My Masters

It's 4:50 pm on a Wednesday night. My oldest daughter is sitting in the front room singing Christmas carols. My third child is in the kitchen slowly cutting carrots for a salad, probably with a butter knife. Who knows where my second and fourth kids are? Probably watching TV or (hopefully) reading. Mike is still hard at work, finishing up an engine and cleaning up to come home. Me? I'm sitting here at my computer typing in my electronic journal, wondering what I should say.

What should I be doing? Probably reading through the slides that are talking about international tax, or working through some example problems of corporate reorganizations. However, that is the last thing I want to be doing right now. In fact, I have been tempted multiple times to just throw that shiz in the air and walk away. Yes, I have three weeks until I am completely finished and yes, it would be stupid to walk away, but dang it all if I'm not on the verge.

After all, I have a job. I think I could scrape a C out of my classes without acing all the quizzes. That's passing, right? Sure! Yet, there's this stupid work ethic that's so ingrained into me, I can't even convince myself to walk away. I NEED As like I need air. It's weird. I've been a perfectionist all my life when it comes to grades, there's just no changing that part of me. So, instead, I will eventually make my way back to my slides and my spreadsheets mumbling the whole time about how much I need a break. Trust me, I REALLY need a break. I'll mutter to myself how it's only three more weeks, three more weeks, three more weeks.

Then, three weeks from now when the dust has settled, I'll look around and realize: I have a Master's degree. How many people can say that? Like, three percent of the population, maybe? I'll be able to breathe for a minute and realize that finally, after six long years, I am done with school. I'll never have to pick up another textbook again if I don't want to. However, that joy will be short-lived as I realize that I will need to pick up my textbook to study for the CPA exams. But, dang it all if I won't at least enjoy that one little moment when I can say, "Hey, I did it. I finished a damn Master's degree. What have you done with your life?"