My Kick in the Pants

Well, I have to be honest. That's always what I teach my kids, so I have to be an example. And, if I am being honest and following in my big sis' footsteps at reporting how I am doing every week, well, bleh. That's all I can really say. I did HORRIBLY this week. There's all kinds of excuses I could throw out there: I was lifting weights, so I put on some poundage; I started my period; I was stressed out because of school...But, really, what it boils down to is this: I binged. I don't know what my deal is. Am I trying to subconsciously sabotage myself? Maybe. Do I really want to gain every week as I have been since I started this blog? No. I went to Weight Watchers on Saturday morning, bright and early with two of my best buddies, Carina and Kim. Thank goodness they were there, because if Kim hadn't coaxed me out of the bathroom, I would have stayed in there the whole meeting crying into my soggy piece of toilet paper! As I mentioned, I gained, but the REAL kick in the pants was that I am back over 200. I am at 200.2. When I told this to Mike, he snickered a little and said one good poo would put me back under 200! He's right, but the point is that there was a "2" in front of my number again, which I promised myself would never happen! You have to understand that when I ran my half-marathon in October, I was right around 186. Maybe it's the winter blahs, maybe it's the crap that I ate over the holidays, who knows. I do know that seeing that 2 in front of my weight really gave me a reality check. Tears were shed, and resolutions were made, and I am proud to say that so far, I have kept those resolutions. I know, I know, I am only two days into it, but that number really affected me. It's so complicated, weight loss. Caradon, I think you are truly the only person who can really know what I mean, especially in regards to the pressure we get from ourselves and other individuals who are important in our lives. One thing I can say positive out of all this, is I realized just how supportive my husband is, after he tried to comfort me with visions of large...deposits...in said bathrooms. HE. RAN. FIVE. MILES. WITH. ME! Who out there can say that they ran five miles in just under an hour, laughing, and talking with their husband, enjoying the fresh morning air, sun peeking out from behind the clouds? I can! And, I think it ranks up there really high with some of the best moments of my life. At the end, he wasn't complaining; in fact, he said how much fun he had and how we need to do this every Saturday. I love that man!! So, now that I have had my kick in the pants, I will be proud to report in next week!! Now, is there any wood around here for me to knock on? Just in case? ;)