My Christmas

I am ashamed to say I have not gotten my Christmas decor out, I have not gotten a tree, and we just barely got our house lights up. You'd think I'd be on top of that because of the huge Christmas we are having this year. Maybe that's why I haven't. I have been so busy with finals, getting the house clean and ready for company, busy with kids, etc, that I just haven't really thought about it. If it weren't for the kids constant reminding, I would be willing to bet that Christmas Eve would come along and I would sadly still be undecorated. It's odd too because I have been listening to Christmas music constantly, my Christmas shopping is done except for stocking stuffers, and we have been busily making all kinds of plans. But, yet, no decor. I had better get on top of this stuff!! We have less than three weeks until the big day!!

My Half Marathon

It's about time I got my procrastinating butt on here and typed an entry. I could give this whole list of excuses as to why I haven't gotten on here, but none of them would really fly, so I will just say that I am here now, so here I go. I participated in my half marathon on the 30th of October, and boy was it unlike anything I have ever experienced!! I thought all my training runs had given me an idea of what it would be like, but I guess I had no idea! Becky and I rode busses up to the tent at the starting line and waited for an hour and a half in the cold. We peed twice, tried unsuccessfully to take cute pictures of ourselves on our phones, and just chatted and had fun. It was nice to spend that time with my friend. But, as soon as the starting gun went off, we parted ways, Becky zooming ahead as I had expected her to and me trudging along behind. My goal had been to run the whole thing and get in at just under 2:30. I met one of those goals, the most important one: I ran the whole way, never stopping to walk even once. But, I missed my time goal by just a measly three minutes! I was frustrated for a split second, but then it hit me that I had just run a half marathon! Something not many people can say they have done! As is my tradition, I dedicated a mile to very special people in my life, so now starts the novel in which I tell everyone my dedications. I hope you have a while to sit and read!! Here goes:

Mile One: This one is for Pam Hansen. She is a writer and her story of loss in every sense of the word made me want to start running in the first place. She is a wonderful woman and I love her story!

Mile Two: This one is for all my friends who are always encouraging me, especially my "Ant" Cheri. They tell me constantly how great I am doing and how awesome I am looking. It is because of wonderful friends and family that people are able to make it through a day. Ant Cheri, you are and always will be my most favorite aunt in the world. You have always encouraged me as well as any mother could, and I am proud to be your "Button".

Mile Three: This mile is for one friend in particular: Becky Weller. She and I have run many races together, always checking in with each other, sharing our stories of painful muscles, incompetent lungs, horrible-tasting GU and many other runners' laments. Aside from that, she is my "Bestie" and I am grateful for her.

Mile Four: This one is for Jared Parkinson. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have trained nearly as hard, and I wouldn't have lost twenty pounds in two months. You are an amazing person, Jared, and I hope for only the best things to happen in your life.

Mile Five: This one is for Mom and Dad. Mom, you have always wanted your kids to live a better life, always improving and never accepting things just because they were easy. Dad, you always have a wise bit of advice to give, or a listening ear, and I have been so grateful for that in my times of crisis. Both of my parents are amazing and I am so incredibly grateful to have them in my life. Mom, I don't know if you know how badly I want to please you, but I am grateful you have taught me that life isn't about pleasing other people. It's about pleasing you Heavenly Father and yourself. Thanks for lovingly watching me twirl and helping me up when I fell. I love you both.

Mile Six: This one is for Caradon. Of course, it's for Brad and the boys too, but mostly for her. Caradon, you were my first best friend in this world, and you always will be my best friend. I am truly blessed to have had a sister as wonderful as you. I am always amazed at what a patient, unselfish, and loving person you are, and I can only hope and pray to aspire to reach your level of "perfection" someday. If everyone was like you, this world would be a much better place. I love you!

Mile Seven: Samantha, you were my first baby in this world. Even though you were technically Mom's daughter, you were MY baby, and I loved you so much. I still do and I always will. Even if your path in life is quite different than mine, I truly believe we will arrive at the same destination. I am just glad that I have your hand to hold onto when I feel alone or scared or need a really good belly laugh. You are always the person I will turn to for that. I love you more than any other little sister in this world! Tap, tap, tap.

Mile Eight: My Addie. Oh, how I miss you, my little brudder. You will never know how much, and I can't even explain why. You are the one who has encouraged me from the beginning telling me over and over that this is not an impossible task for me! Now, here I am, running a half marathon! I never would have thought that I would be out there doing something like that in a million years, and you will never know how many times your voice or your face has floated into my mind on my long runs, inspiring me to keep running. I love you so much!!

Mile Nine: To my kids. You guys are what keep me going. Whenever I feel like checking out, your sweet little voices and your beautiful laughter fill my ears and my heart overflows with love. Granted, you also provide me with the most trials in my life, but those are what make people stronger. You four are my life and I would be dead without you. I am doing this so I can hopefully be an example to you of a healthy lifestyle and so I can be around for a long time with you. I love you, my sweet babies, more than you will ever know!

Mile Ten: Okay, here come the major waterworks. This mile is for my Papa. I know that even though you aren't here with me physically, Papa, you are there with me on the course. You have been with me through every run I have finished, every triumph I have experienced in my life. I know that you are proud of me. I heard a quote once. It goes like this, "This is for my grandfather, who never, ever could have run a marathon, and who never, ever would have doubted for a moment that I could." This describes my Papa perfectly. He always made me feel like the most important, amazing child in the world. I love you so much, Papa. You are etched into my heart permanently, and when I die, yours will be the first face I fervently search for.

Mile Eleven: Now, I am nearing the end of my journey, so this mile goes to the one who has been my biggest support. Mike, you have always been there for me, even when I don't deserve it. Whether you are texting me on my runs, encouraging me to keep going, or rubbing my feet afterwards after holding my hair back so I could puke! You told me how beautiful I was even when I was at my worst. You have loved me unconditionally since we met, and if it weren't for you, I might be dead right now. Mike, you are my heart. My life has more laughter, more love, and more happiness in it because of you. I love you the most!! =0)

Mile Twelve: Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I cannot count how many times I have come to both of you tears, pleading for help, and always feeling like things were going to be okay once I got up off my knees. My Savior has given the ultimate sacrifice so that I can come back to live with Him and my Father in Heaven again. The least I can do is try my hardest to be a better person for them both. Nothing in my life that has been good has happened without your guiding hand, Father. I know that thou art my strength and my guide--all I have to do is follow.

Mile Thirteen Point One: This mile is for me. Ultimately, I am the one who has put in all the hard work. Even with contracts or encouraging words from friends and family, I could have easily given up a long time ago, but I didn't. I know that I am stronger than I once was and I can only get stronger. Even if I don't make it to the end of this race in less than 2 1/2 hours, at least I will make it to the end. That much I know, because I am a strong, capable, beautiful woman. I can do anything I put my mind to.

My Fashion Icon

So, I promised I would write about my shopping trip with Audrey and her friend, Alexia after it happened. Well, here goes! To say the least, my daughter has a unique style about her. I knew that she would love Rue 21 (plus, it helped that I had a 40% off my entire order coupon) and I was right. She was in preteen heaven. Normally, you wouldn't take a ten-year-old into Rue 21 because it's geared toward teens and young-at-heart-adults. But, Audrey is not your average-sized ten-year-old. Audrey is nearly five feet tall and weighs close to 100 pounds. She is the size of most 13-year-olds. So, it is safe to say she has grown out of children's sizes and has moved into juniors sizes, a little to my chagrin, but what can ya do?

Audrey was immediately drawn to all the fluffy skirts. There were more ruffles than you'd find on Madonna in the 80s on these things--it's amazing how styles go full circle. She got a few skirts, some leggings to go under them because, after all, modest is hottest! =) She got a ruffly shirt and a cute little hat and a few other things. She got a pair of boots and a cute little pair of black flats with "diamonds" on the toes. She is turning into quite the lady. We got her a pair of jeans and a pair of black slacks. All in all, this kid made out with a lot of great stuff and I didn't even have to spend an arm and a leg thanks to my thriftiness (thanks, Mom). That evening, after I had run ten miles and was sitting miserably on the couch in my PJs after just having thrown up twice, I tried to enjoy their fashion show. But, after about two outfits, they could tell I was dead on arrival, so they all went downstairs to watch a movie while I climbed wearily into bed. Overall, it was a good day, and I have to say I am impressed with Audrey's eye for unique, yet cute, outfits. Now, if only I could get her to shower everyday, we'd be good to go.

My 30 Pounds

I know, I know...it's been a very long time since I wrote. Things have been busy, what can I say? I hit 30 pounds lost this morning since I started this journey back in February. It has taken me FOREVER mostly because I had a three-month hiatus and said screw it and gained back 12 of the 20 I had lost. But, now I am back on track at 191.8, EXACTLY 30 pounds less than when I started. I still have 42 to go, but only six more pounds and I will be halfway there! That's quite an accomplishment. I am also running my first 10 mile run tonight. Wish me luck! Well, I wish I could talk longer, but I have to get ready for my shopping date with two of my favorite preteens in the world, Audrey and Alexia. We are going to shop til we drop for new clothes for Audrey. It's about time I actually bought her some new clothes. I have been blessed for the past ten years not to have to buy anything for her and just receive generous hand-me-downs from friends and family. But, now that she is coming into her own style, she gets new clothes as a late birthday present. I am sure it will be quite entertaining! I will tell everyone all about my two big adventures that I am going to have later this week! Wish me luck.

My Happy Day

Today is good. Today I ran four miles in my best time yet...44 minutes. That is an 11 minute mile. Usually I run at least 11:28 per mile. Thank goodness for my iFit from my hubby. Oh, how I love him and the support he gives me in all this! It was a beautiful day today. Not too hot, just 70 degrees and a small wind blowing. The sun is shining, and there are people out doing yardwork, there were even some nice sprinklers to run through. Now, I am home, feeling good about myself, looking around at a nice, clean kitchen, again, thanks to my awesome hubby. All I have to do is make the bed, straighten up a few little things and vacuum. Then, I can rest and start in on my homework. Of course, there's always time in between those things to do a little update on my blog. Priorities, ya know! =) I hope you have as happy of a day as I am having, people!

My Misery

Honestly, I think today's run was my most painful. Before I elaborate, I have to brag a little and tell you all that on Saturday night, I ran eight miles without stopping to walk. Ran the whole thing. So, I know that I can easily do six miles on flat terrain, especially considering the first three miles of the Saturday run were almost straight uphill!! So, today after the kids were all at school, I got my little water pack on and my iPod in and I was ready and rarin to go. I had had some allergies for a few days, but nothing horrible so far. Boy, did that change.

I went out into the cool morning air, and started going. The wind was blowing in my face which didn't bother me at first, but then I got to about a third of a mile and it really started picking up. The air here is extremely dry, not to mention all the smoke smell in the air from Herriman. (I love you, Becky.) I was running, and my eyes were pouring out water. My nose was on fire, literally, or at least that's how it felt. I have never wanted to cry so badly during a run as I did today. People driving by must have thought I WAS crying because my face was all scrunched up, tears were pouring out of my eyes and I was sniffeling so much. I would like to think that I am one tough cookie, but this run really tested that theory.

Against all odds, though, I kept going. Granted, I didn't run the whole thing, but it really wasn't a mental thing. I literally couldn't see, so I had to slow down. The wind was really blowing by about mile three. My cheeks under my eyes were completely raw by this time from me rubbing away the tears and the wind blowing against the wetness for so long. Oh, it was so miserable!!!! I can't put enough exclamation points to emphasize how miserable it was. But, I did it. All six miles, albeit slowly, but done just the same. I AM one tough cookie after all.

My Accomplishment

You know, there are a thousand reasons not to reach goals you have set for yourself. For me, there are about 10,000. Or, at least four very obvious ones in the form of pesky (but wonderful) children. There is always the husband who cooks delectable meals in quantities rightly fit for about 15 people, no exaggeration. That could derail any of the best-laid plans. There is the severe lack of energy most young mothers have that would prevent one from running the seven miles that's on the training schedule for that day. There is the fact that there really are more important things to be doing other than writing down every little thing that you eat and keeping careful track of calories and fat and fiber. See, there are a lot of reasons not to reach my lofty goals!

On the other hand, there are about 10,000 reason TO meet those goals as well. There is the fact that I will be happy and have a sense of accomplishment and everyone knows that a happy mom means everyone else is happy, and vice versa. There is the fact that I am going to be in the best physical shape of my life. There is the fact that I am going to look GOOD in those jeans that have been sitting on my closet shelf for five years just waiting for me to be able to fit into them. The list goes on and on.

Well, yesterday I stepped on that old scale for my weekly weigh-in and I was finally below 200 pounds. Now, I am not brave enough to put this number on the Facebook page, but I figure anyone who reads my blog probably already knows my weight to begin with. If they don't, then I figure that if they love me enough to actually read my blog, then they will still love me just as much even if they know that I once topped well over 200 pounds. I could even get really brave and tell you my highest weight in Spring of 2003, but I figure, if you really want to know that one, you can give me a call. Let's just suffice it to say that since then, I have lost at least Claire and Emma combined. I feel like I have accomplished so much, and even though I have a lot longer to go, it's nice to have reached that milestone. I also promised myself a new outfit when I get below 195, and I only have 2 pounds to go until I reach that goal! Anyone wanna go shopping with me next Saturday? There's something else for me to shoot for!