My Mom

Mom,

I feel like I need to post this blog so I can express to you how much I love you. (By the way, for those of you who don't know, this is a picture of my mom playing a nun in a community production of "The Sound of Music." She and I were backstage.) As you know, I have always been better at expressing my feelings with words on paper rather than out loud, and I want everyone to be able to hear what I have to say. I remember countless Mother's Day duets with you. Usually, we would sing My Mother, My Daughter. "The seasons come, the seasons go, and I see you grow. The light of faith is in your eyes. It was planted long ago. I weep for your sorrows, smile when life is fair, I speak your name in each tender prayer...." I loved that tradition that we had. So, today at church, I sang in Relief Society with my two beautiful children, Dallin and Audrey. It brought back a flood of memories,(and tears) especially when I explained a little about my history with singing on Mother's Day to the ladies in the room.

When I was young, I never fully appreciated you, and I am sorry for that. I remember that day at Scott's cabin. Nothing needs to be said about it because we both know what I am talking about. But, that memory is cemented in my head to this day, so vividly, and I think that it's there for a very good reason. Probably many reasons. But, the main thing I want to say in reference to that day is how very much I love you. You were so quick to always forgive me, even if I had hurt you to your very core. I know that one of these days, probably sooner than I would like, my own daughters may feel those things about me. But, they will also realize when they are moms, how right I actually was, just like I have realized that about you.

But, today is a day for me to remind you how great you truly are. So many times, you stayed awake with us all night long when we were sick. I don't think there was a single concert that I ever had that you weren't either in attendance for or playing the piano for. You managed to always sign us kids up for various classes and other extracurricular activities on a limited budget. You and I shared an amazing once-in-a-lifetime experience in Europe that I will never forget either. I think you may have actually been cooler than I realized at the time! You always encouraged us in our constantly changing life ambitions. You were always there to pick me up after I fell, and I fell many times. You never told me I couldn't do something! In your mind, there was nothing we couldn't do as long as we put our minds to it. Now that I am a mom, I realize how lucky I am to have had you there to raise me, to teach me what it means to truly be a strong woman. You dealt with so much, and yet you are still so strong! So, on this day, I want you to know how very much I love you. I want you to know what a tremendous impact you have for good on so many people's lives every day. If I can even be a shred of the kind of mother you are, I will be so grateful! Never again will I say that I don't want to be like you, because quite frankly, there's no one else I would RATHER be like! I hope you know how very much I truly value your friendship, your opinion, and your love. I will always try to twirl for you, and I can't wait to watch my own daughters twirl their way through life for me. Thank you for everything you do for me every day. Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!

"I've watched you, dear mother, each day of my life. I've seen how you smile through the joy and the strife. I've needed your love, and have known you were there. I've seen how you help to bring answers to prayers...depending on my love, my dear mother..."

Always your Pixie...

Lindsay