My Love/Hate Relationship

I am sure all of you have this same love/hate relationship as I do.  My relationship is with money.  I hate it.  I love it.  It sucks.  What's funny is that I am going to go to school to become an accountant and all they do is work with money constantly.  I guess the only time I really hate it is when I have to pay out more of it than I have coming in.  It seems like the last 13 years that I have been married, that is the occasion.  Granted, since we moved to Texas, our money problems haven't been nearly as severe which has been a welcome change.  But, because of that, I have gone a little overboard in the frivolous spending area which I never would have done in Utah.  I have become a bit more free with how I spend the money in our home.  That is starting to catch up with me.  Things are starting to get tight again and it is not a good feeling, especially when Mike has to work long weeks to make ends meet.  That's not the way it should be.  I really need to work harder to find a happy medium that we can all be happy with.  Plus, I really need to be careful with money so I can make sure I have enough to go to Utah in July.  That has to happen, regardless of what bills remain unpaid for a while.  I wish a money tree would start growing in my backyard.  But, since that won't be happening anytime soon, I guess I just need to start using my self-control that I know I have buried down inside of me somewhere.  Now if only I could just find it....

My Big Baby

It's kind of hard for me to believe, but my baby girl is going to be five years old tomorrow.  She has been counting down the days for quite a while now.  It seems like it wasn't that long ago that she was born.  Here, let me show you what a beautiful girl I brought into the world back in June of 2007:

See what I mean?  Beautiful!!  Tomorrow my very last child is going to be old enough to go to kindergarten (which she is also counting down to) and she is going to be able to hold up an entire hand to show people her age.  It's kind of crazy to me that I won't have any more babies like this in my house.  Even grandchildren won't live with me.  In some ways, it is a little sad, but in other ways it is very exciting to see what kind of fun things lie ahead for us.  I sure am grateful to have had four beautiful children.  I couldn't have asked for better ones and I am so grateful that Heavenly Father entrusted me with these beautiful spirits.  He must see something in me that I don't.  There's not much more I can say about Claire except that she is so much fun.  It's much better to show my beautiful girl in pictures.  So, here I go:

About a month old

Family Pictures, November of 2007



Lagoon 2008, about a year old

I always found Claire in funny little outfits.  She was about 2 here.

SO CUTE!!  I love this picture of Claire.  She was about 2 1/2 here.

About 3 1/2.  Again, so cute, always ready to give a big smile for the camera



She looks SO MUCH like Audrey when she was that age.  Crazy how much my kids look alike.



This is Easter of 2012.  See how grown up she is looking?  Hard to believe she is almost 5!

Oh, sorry, that's not Claire.  Heh heh.  I just couldn't resist, Slllllllamantha!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE CLAIRE BEAR!!!!

My Son's Tender Heart--Part 2

Well, as all of you know, I have a little boy who has a very tender heart.  I love that about him and I hope and pray that it is something he will continue to have even as an adult.  I am about to share a sweet story that can give you an idea of what I mean.  Dallin's birthday was on May 5th.  We had a party here for him and he invited a lot of his new friends and it was really fun.  One of the gifts that he got from his Aunt Heidi and his two cousins, Byron and Hunter, was a male Beta fighting fish.  He was very excited to have a pet.  Aunt Heidi showed him how to change the water and clean out the bowl and how to feed him and stuff like that.  He named the fish "Missile" and he enjoyed watching it swim around. 

I wasn't present during the fish caring tutorial, so I was unaware that the water needed to have "conditioner" put in it to balance out the chlorine that is in the water here.  The chlorine burns the fish and kills them if the conditioner isn't in the water.  When I had a beta fish, I lived in Oregon and there was no need for conditioner in the water, because as everyone knows, Oregon water is the best in the world!  Well, yesterday we changed Missile's water and Dallin forgot to put conditioner in the water.  When we got home, Missile was down at the bottom of the bowl.  Dead.  Crap.  I called Dallin down, preparing myself to give him the bad news.  I had hoped that since he had only had Missile for a month, it wouldn't be too bad.  At first it wasn't.  Dallin seemed to take it like a champ.  We had a little funeral service for Missile, then Dallin proceeded to flush the toilet--at which point he broke into very loud tears and sobs.  He buried his head into my stomach and cried his little heart out.  Then, he went up to his bed and continued to cry for a while.

Finally after he was calmed down a bit, he came into my room and snuggled up next to me.  We talked a little about Missile and I asked Dallin why he was so sad that he had died.  I asked him what it was that he loved the most about Missile.  Was it the way he would puff up if he saw his reflection?  Was it how Missile would swim into the little jar at the bottom of his bowl and "hide"?  Dallin looked at me as tears began to well up in his beautiful blue/gold eyes and he said, "No, Mom.  What I loved the most about Missile....was his love for me."  Then, he began to quietly cry again into my shoulder.  I just held him and smiled to myself.  A good mother probably wouldn't have smiled while their son was feeling so sad, but I guess I smiled because, not only did my son have a beautiful heart, but he genuinely believed that Missile had loved him too.  Quite honestly, I don't see how any being on this earth couldn't love Dallin--even a beta fish.  So, it is only fitting that Dallin believes it too.