This morning, like the psycho I am lately, I ran three miles. To some, this may not seem like a lot, but from the moment I dragged my sorry butt out of bed, through the moments of sluggishly getting dressed and out the door, I knew that this was going to be the longest three miles of my life. All right, maybe that is a stretch, but pretty darn near the longest! I started out strong. My first mile was around 10:30! Not bad for me! Then, I started to slow down. And, I really mean slow...down... My next mile was about 12:30 and the next was close to 13 simply because I walked a lot of it.
My countdown is to my half marathon in October. I have a little over 90 days to get myself ready for it, and quite frankly, I don't know if I will be ready! My time is declined quite significantly over the past few weeks, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. Is it because I am not cross training enough? Do I need to get back on my weight lifting routine with Jillian? Do I need to eat a banana as I go out the door in the morning or maybe carbo load the night before? Whatever it is, I had better find out soon, because the countdown is on, baby! 90 days to go! I had better be ready!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
My Eyebrows
Well all, I have decided on another topic of discussion today...my eyebrows. As most of you know, I rarely wear makeup except at church. So, if you only see me at church, you might think I always wear makeup. But, I don't. And because I don't, you must know as well that my eyebrows are so blonde, you cannot hardly see them unless you look closely. It is the same way for my leg hair, but that is an entirely different topic of conversation.
Anyway, starting back at the beginning of June, I have been dying my eyebrows about every three weeks so I don't have to use eyebrow pencil anymore and so that even when I am not wearing makeup, my eyes will still stick out and be obvious. Well, I have done it professionally (with a wax as well) once and I have done it myself (with a wax as well) twice. Yesterday was my second time and I think I messed it up royally. I really did a number on my eyebrows. The wax wasn't too hot or anything, but I think I scrubbed the dye off my skin so hard that some of the skin actually came off with the dye. Then, on top of that I did the wax to get the stray hairs, which can't be good for open sores! There's also little stray dots of wax around my eyes that I can't get off, even on my eyelashes. The skin around the dyed brows is so red, it makes me look like a babushka or a bushman. It's horrible.
Luckily, this morning it looks a little better and the redness has gone down a little bit, but it still hurts like the dickens. So, the moral of the story is: Don't ever let me dye and wax your eyebrows. You WILL be sorry! =)
Anyway, starting back at the beginning of June, I have been dying my eyebrows about every three weeks so I don't have to use eyebrow pencil anymore and so that even when I am not wearing makeup, my eyes will still stick out and be obvious. Well, I have done it professionally (with a wax as well) once and I have done it myself (with a wax as well) twice. Yesterday was my second time and I think I messed it up royally. I really did a number on my eyebrows. The wax wasn't too hot or anything, but I think I scrubbed the dye off my skin so hard that some of the skin actually came off with the dye. Then, on top of that I did the wax to get the stray hairs, which can't be good for open sores! There's also little stray dots of wax around my eyes that I can't get off, even on my eyelashes. The skin around the dyed brows is so red, it makes me look like a babushka or a bushman. It's horrible.
Luckily, this morning it looks a little better and the redness has gone down a little bit, but it still hurts like the dickens. So, the moral of the story is: Don't ever let me dye and wax your eyebrows. You WILL be sorry! =)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
My Beautiful Children
Hello all,
I realized that I haven't written in a while and I had promised myself that I wouldn't let significant amounts of time go between writings. So, I decided that I had better get on the boat. However, to be honest, I don't feel any good stories coming to me. I could tell you all about my camping trip over the Pioneer weekend, but I don't have the energy. I could tell you how running this morning felt like I was dragging one-ton weights on each foot, but I persevered, even though my time is getting steadily worse. Again, no energy. So, I decided to write about my beautiful children. Now, I use the word beautiful, but that's because I am their mom and I feel very biased. I will let you decide for yourselves...
Audrey is nine-years-old, going on about 30. I swear, she is me incarnate with a bit of Caradon thrown in for good measure. But, I pray for her sake that she will not put herself through what I did at her age. She is tall and slender and very sweet. She is always thinking of other people, always trying to make life easier for everyone. She gets that one from her dad, I can't rightly take credit for that trait. Here she is at her third-grade play. She had a few lines in it and her little chimes group played a few songs. She is very talented, a wonderful singer, and shows some interest in sports...we will see if that persists. She is pretty well-liked at school and she is extremely smart. What a wonderful kid!
Then, there is my Dallin. This was the most attractive picture I could find of him, wouldn't you say? We are quite the pair. Dallin is his dad's shadow. Whenever Mike is home, Dallin follows him around to the point where he will run right into him if Mike stops walking abruptly. It's kind of cute. I can't say Mike would agree, but he loves hanging out with Dallin just the same. Dallin is also very smart. He is a good friend to all the kids in school and he has a great sense of humor. He has a gentle heart, but sometimes he lets it get the best of him and he cries a lot over not so important stuff. I am sure that is something that will get better as he gets older. He is most definitely my favorite son by far!
Okay, here is Emma...again, the most attractive picture I could find. Emma is quite the drama queen. She loves to do anything imagination-oriented. She plays dress-up, dolls, puts on plays, does gymnastics, digs for gold...all the wonderful things a little girl should do! Emma has quite a temper along with all those great characterisitics. We have had to put together a scream chart to get her to not freak out over the tiniest things. She is a wonderful big sister to Claire and she has a very loving heart. I do fear that she may be my most difficult teenager to deal with, but I'll deal with it as it comes, I suppose. 
Finally, our little Claire Bear. She is the youngest and last member of the Mike Jenkins family, so needless to say, she gets a little spoiled. Not even necessarily by me, though! She tends to get it from all her siblings as well as her dad too! She is very sweet. She is funny and quite the ham, always looking for ways to get a laugh out of everyone. She is full of cute little Claire-isms and even with her jumbled words, she gets her point across without much trouble. She is finally getting the hang of potty training which is quite the milestone for me! No more diapers for the first time in ten years!! As she is sitting here next to me, she is whispering in my ear that she doesn't like corn dogs. Just so you all know...! She also has an adorable lisp that, as cute as it is, will hopefully go away soon. What a cutie patootie!
Well, that wraps up today's post. I hope it is as entertaining to read as it was to write.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
My 5.6 Pounds
I have decided that losing weight is what keeps me motivated. Every time I go to one of my meetings and I haven't lost anything, I start to feel discouraged. For the last month and a half, I have been gaining or staying the same. Since we got back from California, I have gained back eight of the pounds I had worked so hard to lose. I was starting to lose all hope. Then, after running my 10K last week, I decided to sign up for the half-marathon. Doing that made something click inside my brain. I know that if I expect myself to do well at ALL in this half-marathon, then I need to start eating right. So, all last week I really tried hard to do a good job. I will admit, I messed up more times than I would have liked, but I was active, I ate the best that I could most of the time and I drank tons of water. I also started training for the half in October.
This morning I went out on a two-mile run before my meeting, and for some reason, it was a little harder than usual. I pushed myself and I am proud to say that I ran the whole thing. But, when I got back I could feel my heart beating inside my head and my skin was so hot, I think the sweat coming off my forehead might have turned into steam directly on contact. If it didn't, it got soaked into my nice, wet bandana I was wearing. At least that kept my head kind of cool. It also didn't help that it was already really hot at 6:15 in the morning. But, nonetheless, I trucked through it. Then, I went to my meeting with Carina. We both had a great weigh-in, me at 5.6 lost and she had lost 4 pounds! We are neck in neck on our weight now, and I am so proud of both of us!
Well, enough ranting. Now, I have to go work in my front yard for a while before it gets too hot. Mother, you should be proud and you can stop nagging me now. Hope everybody has a great day!!
This morning I went out on a two-mile run before my meeting, and for some reason, it was a little harder than usual. I pushed myself and I am proud to say that I ran the whole thing. But, when I got back I could feel my heart beating inside my head and my skin was so hot, I think the sweat coming off my forehead might have turned into steam directly on contact. If it didn't, it got soaked into my nice, wet bandana I was wearing. At least that kept my head kind of cool. It also didn't help that it was already really hot at 6:15 in the morning. But, nonetheless, I trucked through it. Then, I went to my meeting with Carina. We both had a great weigh-in, me at 5.6 lost and she had lost 4 pounds! We are neck in neck on our weight now, and I am so proud of both of us!
Well, enough ranting. Now, I have to go work in my front yard for a while before it gets too hot. Mother, you should be proud and you can stop nagging me now. Hope everybody has a great day!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
My Cleaning Plan
Today I am attempting to get the entire house clean with the help of six kids who really enjoy complaining and whining. So, I am embarking on a bribery plan that my mother would be proud of! I have taken piles of spare change that we have laying around the house and gave them each a pile of coins adding up to $2.00 each. We are all going to clean each room at the same time, and if they complain, even if it's an "Awwww," made into three syllables, they lose 25 cents. They will have a chance to earn it back with extra jobs, but it will require a little extra work. Once we are done cleaning, we are going to walk to 7-Eleven or Ream's and they can spend their money on whatever they want, after paying tithing of course (that one will be for my own kids). We will see how this plan goes. I will let you all know.
As for me and my training, I am doing well. Today is my rest day, and I am taking full advantage of that. Of course, I am cleaning my entire house, so I am still going to burn a few calories, but no weight lifting, no running. Yesterday I ran two miles again. Seriously, folks, I felt like I was dragging twenty pound weights on each foot. It was really hard for me to get going yesterday. I think that was because I had gone to bed really late the night before. As I said in one of my previous blogs, I really need to get to bed fairly early at night so that I am not completely useless the next day. But, on that note, I still managed to run the full two miles without stopping to walk, and I did it in 22:34. Pretty good considering how tired I was and how heavy my feet felt! At least I am going to live to run another day. Wish me luck!
As for me and my training, I am doing well. Today is my rest day, and I am taking full advantage of that. Of course, I am cleaning my entire house, so I am still going to burn a few calories, but no weight lifting, no running. Yesterday I ran two miles again. Seriously, folks, I felt like I was dragging twenty pound weights on each foot. It was really hard for me to get going yesterday. I think that was because I had gone to bed really late the night before. As I said in one of my previous blogs, I really need to get to bed fairly early at night so that I am not completely useless the next day. But, on that note, I still managed to run the full two miles without stopping to walk, and I did it in 22:34. Pretty good considering how tired I was and how heavy my feet felt! At least I am going to live to run another day. Wish me luck!
Monday, July 12, 2010
My First Official Day of Training
Well, for those of you who don't know, I have decided to do something outrageous and daring, exciting and crazy, and did I mention dangerous and death-defying? Yes, folks, I have decided to run a half-marathon. This decision came about after about a year of toying with the idea. So, now that I have run four 5Ks, 1 10K, and 1 15K, a half-marathon seemed like the next logical step. If you would like to be there when I hobble over the finish line, it will be in Provo, October 30th, 2010, at the Shops at Riverwoods. I will even be in costume, courtesy of my good friend, Steve "Newman" Daskam. Luckily, I will be running it with my good friend, Kim, and hopefully my good friend, Becky.
This morning, you will be proud to know that I ran two miles while I left Audrey in charge. For those of you who have read my blog about her growing up too fast, you will see how dedicated I truly am to have been willing to run for 23 minutes with her in charge all by herself. But, she diligently sat at the front window and waved to me every 4 minutes and 10 seconds when I ran past. There was even some stray dog that joined me on my run...pretty much the whole thing! When I got done and I was on my front sidewalk stretching, he tried to lick my face numerous times, and even ripped my earphones out in his excitement. It was a great start to this incredible journey that I am about to embark on. I am really excited.
Please refrain from discouraging words, at least out loud, to me! =) I need as much postivity as I can get. But, obviously, there is no need for me to say that, considering how everyone has been so incredibly supportive of me and my crazy endeavors. I love you all! Wish me luck!
This morning, you will be proud to know that I ran two miles while I left Audrey in charge. For those of you who have read my blog about her growing up too fast, you will see how dedicated I truly am to have been willing to run for 23 minutes with her in charge all by herself. But, she diligently sat at the front window and waved to me every 4 minutes and 10 seconds when I ran past. There was even some stray dog that joined me on my run...pretty much the whole thing! When I got done and I was on my front sidewalk stretching, he tried to lick my face numerous times, and even ripped my earphones out in his excitement. It was a great start to this incredible journey that I am about to embark on. I am really excited.
Please refrain from discouraging words, at least out loud, to me! =) I need as much postivity as I can get. But, obviously, there is no need for me to say that, considering how everyone has been so incredibly supportive of me and my crazy endeavors. I love you all! Wish me luck!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
My 10K
I ran six miles this morning. Don't ask me why. I don't know. But, all that running gave me a lot of time to think about things. I am going to wax philosophical for a little while, so bear with me. Before I do, though, I have to toss in a few random facts. The race I ran, although advertised as a 10K, was at the very least an 11K. Do they make those? My iFit said I finished the 10K 8 minutes earlier than the time clock at the finish line. I am going with my iFit. Of course, I was not really trying for a time, perse, since this was my first 10K. But, I would like to have a small time so I can challenge myself for next time. The other fact is that one should never eat a large berry smoothie before a big race especially when one's body is used to running on an empty stomach. NEVER change things up before a race. That's just pure stupidity. With that said, I didn't puke at miles 3 and 4 like I felt like I was going to. So that's good. On to the philosophical!
Even though this was a short race compared to a marathon, or even a half marathon, I decided I would devote my miles to people in my life. I know, usually this is something done on longer races, but I had to give myself stuff to think about while I was running. So, I devoted each mile to certain people and it helped the time to go faster. The first mile, I devoted to Carina and Kim. They are two of my best friends and my partners in weight loss and exercise. They keep me going day in and day out and if it weren't for them, I would have quit a long time ago. They are both beautiful, strong women who make the world a better place just being in it. Don't even get me started on how much better it is because of what they do. So, Carina...Kim...the first mile was for you guys. I love you beautiful ladies!
Mile Two was for Becky. Even though she was a good 16 minutes ahead of me(in the first five minutes, mind you. How is that even possible?) she has been with me in nearly every race I have ever done. Since the very first unofficial one we ran with her stake way back in the day when all this was beginning. When was that even? I think Fall of 2008? I can't remember, I am getting old. Becky, you are my best friend, and I don't know what I would do without you and your gentle (or not so gentle if the situation requires it) prodding toward making myself better. I am sure you know all this, but it doesn't hurt to say it. I know, I know, you are NOT a...what's the word? Emotional? Writer...but I am, so deal with it. I love ya forever!
Mile Three was for my Addie. He was the one who got me started on all of this. Adam, if it wasn't for your inspiration in doing a triathlon and running all these races, I wouldn't have been where I am now. A slow, diligent jogger. Hey, I started out as a turtle. Literally, I think one passed me once, so a slow diligent jogger is a really good thing. You are my little brother, yet there are so many times where I have needed advice from someone wiser than me and you are always the one I turn to. Crazy how that works. I love you and I am so lucky to have you as a brother. I love your little family too. You guys are awesome!
Mile Four was for the rest of my family as a whole. Sorry, guys, someday when I run a marathon, I will have more miles to devote to each of you, but this time around you all get Mile Four. To my kids, you guys are the reason I get up and run every day. I know how important it is for me to be around for a while, so I am going to do my best to be healthy so I can be with you guys. You four are my life and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank my Father in Heaven for you. My parents, I love you so much. I am so grateful for all the support you have given me throughout my life, even during my teenage years, when I am sure you were ready to kill me many times. Thanks for letting me live. And, thank you for always watching me twirl and helping me to get back up when I fell. See, how bad I am? I am sitting here crying as I type. Pathetic. Caradon, you were my first best friend in this world, and that has never changed. I remember writing in my diary when you left for college about how badly I missed you and wished you were there to help me deal with life. Thanks for always being there for me, whether it's to vent, to laugh with, or to cry with. I couldn't have asked for a better sister. Sam, you know how I feel about you, so I don't need to get too blubbery on this one. Thank you so much for being there when I got to the finish line this morning. It was nice to see your smiling, albeit odd-looking, face when I huffed and puffed my way over the blue mats. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever known and I am honored to call you my sister.
Mile Five: To the most wonderful person in this entire world. I am not even joking about this one people. To my love, my best friend, my punching bag, my solace, my confidante, my everything, my husband. I know I don't tell you enough, but I love you so much. If it hadn't been for you, I would not be the person I am today. You have been there with me through thick and thin, everything that has ever happened that was good in my life has been because of you. Mike Jenkins, you are my life and I love you.
Mile Six: This last one was for me and my Father in Heaven. These are the only two people who can REALLY make me do what I have done in my life. And, even then, I know that Heavenly Father doesn't make anyone do anything. That is why we are here, to choose the direction our life is going to go, hopefully not making TOO many mistakes along the way. I am grateful for the strength I have received from Heavenly Father, especially at the times when I thought I might die or at least puke on mile three and four. It's so nice to know that the gospel is there to guide us and that our Father in Heaven always loves us unconditionally even through out stupid mistakes. As for me, I have a long way to go. But, I have come a really long way as well, and I am proud of that.
To the rest of you that I love so much...if I had had more miles, you definitely would have been there on my list. But, thankfully I didn't have any more miles. If I had, you may very well have been at my funeral! Someday, when I am a stronger person than I am now, and I finally fulfill my bucket list with a half marathon, or even a marathon if I am feeling especially ambitious, rest assured that you will be on my mile list. For now, just know how much I love all of you and how grateful I am for you. Now, everyone, go out and run at least a mile for me. Believe it or not, it really does feel great!
Even though this was a short race compared to a marathon, or even a half marathon, I decided I would devote my miles to people in my life. I know, usually this is something done on longer races, but I had to give myself stuff to think about while I was running. So, I devoted each mile to certain people and it helped the time to go faster. The first mile, I devoted to Carina and Kim. They are two of my best friends and my partners in weight loss and exercise. They keep me going day in and day out and if it weren't for them, I would have quit a long time ago. They are both beautiful, strong women who make the world a better place just being in it. Don't even get me started on how much better it is because of what they do. So, Carina...Kim...the first mile was for you guys. I love you beautiful ladies!
Mile Two was for Becky. Even though she was a good 16 minutes ahead of me(in the first five minutes, mind you. How is that even possible?) she has been with me in nearly every race I have ever done. Since the very first unofficial one we ran with her stake way back in the day when all this was beginning. When was that even? I think Fall of 2008? I can't remember, I am getting old. Becky, you are my best friend, and I don't know what I would do without you and your gentle (or not so gentle if the situation requires it) prodding toward making myself better. I am sure you know all this, but it doesn't hurt to say it. I know, I know, you are NOT a...what's the word? Emotional? Writer...but I am, so deal with it. I love ya forever!
Mile Three was for my Addie. He was the one who got me started on all of this. Adam, if it wasn't for your inspiration in doing a triathlon and running all these races, I wouldn't have been where I am now. A slow, diligent jogger. Hey, I started out as a turtle. Literally, I think one passed me once, so a slow diligent jogger is a really good thing. You are my little brother, yet there are so many times where I have needed advice from someone wiser than me and you are always the one I turn to. Crazy how that works. I love you and I am so lucky to have you as a brother. I love your little family too. You guys are awesome!
Mile Four was for the rest of my family as a whole. Sorry, guys, someday when I run a marathon, I will have more miles to devote to each of you, but this time around you all get Mile Four. To my kids, you guys are the reason I get up and run every day. I know how important it is for me to be around for a while, so I am going to do my best to be healthy so I can be with you guys. You four are my life and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank my Father in Heaven for you. My parents, I love you so much. I am so grateful for all the support you have given me throughout my life, even during my teenage years, when I am sure you were ready to kill me many times. Thanks for letting me live. And, thank you for always watching me twirl and helping me to get back up when I fell. See, how bad I am? I am sitting here crying as I type. Pathetic. Caradon, you were my first best friend in this world, and that has never changed. I remember writing in my diary when you left for college about how badly I missed you and wished you were there to help me deal with life. Thanks for always being there for me, whether it's to vent, to laugh with, or to cry with. I couldn't have asked for a better sister. Sam, you know how I feel about you, so I don't need to get too blubbery on this one. Thank you so much for being there when I got to the finish line this morning. It was nice to see your smiling, albeit odd-looking, face when I huffed and puffed my way over the blue mats. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever known and I am honored to call you my sister.
Mile Five: To the most wonderful person in this entire world. I am not even joking about this one people. To my love, my best friend, my punching bag, my solace, my confidante, my everything, my husband. I know I don't tell you enough, but I love you so much. If it hadn't been for you, I would not be the person I am today. You have been there with me through thick and thin, everything that has ever happened that was good in my life has been because of you. Mike Jenkins, you are my life and I love you.
Mile Six: This last one was for me and my Father in Heaven. These are the only two people who can REALLY make me do what I have done in my life. And, even then, I know that Heavenly Father doesn't make anyone do anything. That is why we are here, to choose the direction our life is going to go, hopefully not making TOO many mistakes along the way. I am grateful for the strength I have received from Heavenly Father, especially at the times when I thought I might die or at least puke on mile three and four. It's so nice to know that the gospel is there to guide us and that our Father in Heaven always loves us unconditionally even through out stupid mistakes. As for me, I have a long way to go. But, I have come a really long way as well, and I am proud of that.
To the rest of you that I love so much...if I had had more miles, you definitely would have been there on my list. But, thankfully I didn't have any more miles. If I had, you may very well have been at my funeral! Someday, when I am a stronger person than I am now, and I finally fulfill my bucket list with a half marathon, or even a marathon if I am feeling especially ambitious, rest assured that you will be on my mile list. For now, just know how much I love all of you and how grateful I am for you. Now, everyone, go out and run at least a mile for me. Believe it or not, it really does feel great!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
My Gross Gorilla
We went to the zoo on Monday. Mike had it off and since we love spur-of-the-moment outings, we decided to go. It was very crowded and fun, but it was a long day. We saw all kinds of animals, and the kids were having a great time. The most fun they had, though, was in the gorilla house. Now, keep in mind, a lot of scientists believe we are descended from these powerful and majestic creatures, but I think what I am about to tell you might make them change their minds.
We were all vying to get in front of one of the windows, and our family happened to be in the exact right spot to notice a very large, male gorilla. He was standing directly in front of our window, but his back was to us, so we could only see his profile if he looked to the side. He was very entertaining, but what was most entertaining was what he proceeded to do next. He squatted down, reached his extra long arm under his buttocks, and proceeded to poop into his hand. Now, this action most definitely got the kids laughing. Even Mike was almost rolling on the floor.
What happened next, though, caused the laughing to stop momentarily and our jaws to drop to the floor. He took that fresh pile of warm, gooey, green poo and proceeded to take a nice, big bite. Yum. We could not believe our eyes. What was worse, was that he kept on eating it! Then, he did it a second time! We were all in hysterics at this point. We went outside the house where our friends were waiting for us. We shared the story with them, and Anthony said, "It kind of makes you wonder...what are they feeding him that he would rather eat his own poo rather than the food they give him?" We all shook our heads in wonderment. Chew on that one for a while.
We were all vying to get in front of one of the windows, and our family happened to be in the exact right spot to notice a very large, male gorilla. He was standing directly in front of our window, but his back was to us, so we could only see his profile if he looked to the side. He was very entertaining, but what was most entertaining was what he proceeded to do next. He squatted down, reached his extra long arm under his buttocks, and proceeded to poop into his hand. Now, this action most definitely got the kids laughing. Even Mike was almost rolling on the floor.
What happened next, though, caused the laughing to stop momentarily and our jaws to drop to the floor. He took that fresh pile of warm, gooey, green poo and proceeded to take a nice, big bite. Yum. We could not believe our eyes. What was worse, was that he kept on eating it! Then, he did it a second time! We were all in hysterics at this point. We went outside the house where our friends were waiting for us. We shared the story with them, and Anthony said, "It kind of makes you wonder...what are they feeding him that he would rather eat his own poo rather than the food they give him?" We all shook our heads in wonderment. Chew on that one for a while.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
My Failure
I have decided that in order to be fully honest on my blog, I need to share my failures as well as my victories. But, don't get too familiar with these failure stories, because being that I am pretty darn near perfect, there won't be many more! =) Ha ha... Anyway, there is a statement that I have been saying for a while now inside my head, but I have never said it out loud until this morning. I hate it when I lose control. That's it. That's the statement.
Now, in order to fully understand this story, you have to understand that since I got back from California on the 15th of June, I have been having a very lax attitude toward my Weight Watchers plan and I haven't been following it the way I should have. Every day, I have been screwing up royally at the end of the day, only to tell myself right before bed that I will do better tomorrow. Then, tomorrow comes, and no such luck. I always think to myself that I HATE it when I do this, but I never do anything about it.
Well, at my last weigh-in, I had gained another 2 1/2 pounds, so I made a resolution that at the next weigh-in I have, I would like to have lost at least 3 pounds. You see, that 2 1/2 pounds added into the 5 that I had already gained over the month of June. So, I am up to a grand total of 8 of my hard-earned losses going down the drain. So, I vowed things would be different.
So, Saturday was great. I resisted all kinds of temptations, Sunday was great and Monday started out great. Until dinner. I don't know what changed inside my head. I remember thinking as I was eating a scrumptious Asiago cheese bagel from Harmon's (not as good as Einstein's, but a close second) that I had already screwed up and I might as well eat whatever I wanted that I wouldn't be able to when I "got back on track tomorrow." What a laugh, I think, as I am sitting here shaking my head. I proceeded to eat enchiladas, chips and salsa, chips and spinach-artichoke dip, candy, popcorn with garlic butter (which wasn't very good by the way) and sushi. It was pretty bad. Afterwards, I felt like a pathetic, bloated blob and I wasn't proud of myself in any way, shape, or form like I had been on Saturday and Sunday. I had even run/walked five miles that morning and walked around the zoo for three hours! Who does all that only to completely screw themselves later? Only me, it seems....Okay, that's probably not true, but when you screw up like that you tend to think that you are the only failure in the world.
Okay, the point of this story is not to depress any of you or to make myself feel bad. The point of this story is that if I hold myself accountable and know that people that I care about are going to know this about me, maybe I will be more likely not to mess up next time. I have made the resolution that the horrible feeling I felt last night is not one I ever want to feel again. I HATE LOSING CONTROL OF MYSELF LIKE THAT. Wish me luck for the future!
Now, in order to fully understand this story, you have to understand that since I got back from California on the 15th of June, I have been having a very lax attitude toward my Weight Watchers plan and I haven't been following it the way I should have. Every day, I have been screwing up royally at the end of the day, only to tell myself right before bed that I will do better tomorrow. Then, tomorrow comes, and no such luck. I always think to myself that I HATE it when I do this, but I never do anything about it.
Well, at my last weigh-in, I had gained another 2 1/2 pounds, so I made a resolution that at the next weigh-in I have, I would like to have lost at least 3 pounds. You see, that 2 1/2 pounds added into the 5 that I had already gained over the month of June. So, I am up to a grand total of 8 of my hard-earned losses going down the drain. So, I vowed things would be different.
So, Saturday was great. I resisted all kinds of temptations, Sunday was great and Monday started out great. Until dinner. I don't know what changed inside my head. I remember thinking as I was eating a scrumptious Asiago cheese bagel from Harmon's (not as good as Einstein's, but a close second) that I had already screwed up and I might as well eat whatever I wanted that I wouldn't be able to when I "got back on track tomorrow." What a laugh, I think, as I am sitting here shaking my head. I proceeded to eat enchiladas, chips and salsa, chips and spinach-artichoke dip, candy, popcorn with garlic butter (which wasn't very good by the way) and sushi. It was pretty bad. Afterwards, I felt like a pathetic, bloated blob and I wasn't proud of myself in any way, shape, or form like I had been on Saturday and Sunday. I had even run/walked five miles that morning and walked around the zoo for three hours! Who does all that only to completely screw themselves later? Only me, it seems....Okay, that's probably not true, but when you screw up like that you tend to think that you are the only failure in the world.
Okay, the point of this story is not to depress any of you or to make myself feel bad. The point of this story is that if I hold myself accountable and know that people that I care about are going to know this about me, maybe I will be more likely not to mess up next time. I have made the resolution that the horrible feeling I felt last night is not one I ever want to feel again. I HATE LOSING CONTROL OF MYSELF LIKE THAT. Wish me luck for the future!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
My Insight
Yesterday we had a fun BBQ at my sister, Caradon's, house. We went swimming, we ate good food and we lit some fun fireworks. Let me elaborate on all of these:
First, the swimming. To put it nicely, I hate going to swimming pools. For one thing, there are too many people who are obviously in love with their bodies. Now, this wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if they weren't narcissistic about them as well! Women who walk, hips swaying, only three little pieces of fabric covering their you-know-whats in the front and an even smaller piece covering the back. It's a little scary. I almost feel like I need to cover my innocent children's eyes to preserve their childhood! Then, there's the men who have spent the past half hour flexing to get their veins bulging just so they can walk out into the pool area hoping and praying some pretty girl with the least amount of fabric will look, maybe nod, give a comment, something!
Then, there's me. Now, I don't feel as bad about myself as I used to wearing a swimsuit. Granted, I have a while to go before I reach my ideal, but I have come a long way from where I used to be. But, buying a cheap swimsuit, let me tell you, is not a good idea. I bought this suit last summer and it did me well that year. But, this year, after pulling it out of the mothballs, for some reason it has stretched beyond recognition. It's fine when it's dry, but as soon as I jump into the water and get it wet, and then climb out of the pool, the little skirt part of it hangs down to just below my knees. It's one of those tankinis. The fact that my skirt hangs down so far wouldn't have been a bad thing in 1910, but nowadays, I'd probably get more wondering stares than those people flaunting body parts that ought not to be flaunted! So, I ended up walking around most of the day with my skirt in a wad in my fist so it wasn't hanging down to my ankles (which was the case at the end of our little jaunt.)
Besides the fact that I lost Dallin at least three times during this outing, and the fact that Claire clung to me for dear life until she finally braved the wading pool 45 minutes into it, the day was fun (except for the horrible eye "candy" in the form of the narcissistic 20-somethings.)
Then, there was the barbecue. There isn't much to report here except that I ate well for the first time in weeks! I didn't give into the fudgsicles, or the crab salad, and I ate a gardenburger without a bun instead of a hamburger! I gorged on watermelon, and ate my two-point-per-cup-fruit-salad that was delicious. I was very proud of myself for the first time in weeks yesterday. In part, I was helped by a quote my sister had taped to her wall. Maybe it will help some of you as well. It goes like this:
A commitment is the honoring of a decision. When you are commited, you allow nothing to deter you from reaching your goal. You are disciplined even when you are not feeling motivated. Discipline is the ability to carry out a resolution long after the mood has left you. Making a commitment is being willing to put forth all your efforts and taking responsibility for the outcome.
Isn't that great? Overall, I had a fun Fourth of July Celebration. I hope everyone else did as well and realizes how blessed we are to be a part of such an amazing and free country. Love you all!
First, the swimming. To put it nicely, I hate going to swimming pools. For one thing, there are too many people who are obviously in love with their bodies. Now, this wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if they weren't narcissistic about them as well! Women who walk, hips swaying, only three little pieces of fabric covering their you-know-whats in the front and an even smaller piece covering the back. It's a little scary. I almost feel like I need to cover my innocent children's eyes to preserve their childhood! Then, there's the men who have spent the past half hour flexing to get their veins bulging just so they can walk out into the pool area hoping and praying some pretty girl with the least amount of fabric will look, maybe nod, give a comment, something!
Then, there's me. Now, I don't feel as bad about myself as I used to wearing a swimsuit. Granted, I have a while to go before I reach my ideal, but I have come a long way from where I used to be. But, buying a cheap swimsuit, let me tell you, is not a good idea. I bought this suit last summer and it did me well that year. But, this year, after pulling it out of the mothballs, for some reason it has stretched beyond recognition. It's fine when it's dry, but as soon as I jump into the water and get it wet, and then climb out of the pool, the little skirt part of it hangs down to just below my knees. It's one of those tankinis. The fact that my skirt hangs down so far wouldn't have been a bad thing in 1910, but nowadays, I'd probably get more wondering stares than those people flaunting body parts that ought not to be flaunted! So, I ended up walking around most of the day with my skirt in a wad in my fist so it wasn't hanging down to my ankles (which was the case at the end of our little jaunt.)
Besides the fact that I lost Dallin at least three times during this outing, and the fact that Claire clung to me for dear life until she finally braved the wading pool 45 minutes into it, the day was fun (except for the horrible eye "candy" in the form of the narcissistic 20-somethings.)
Then, there was the barbecue. There isn't much to report here except that I ate well for the first time in weeks! I didn't give into the fudgsicles, or the crab salad, and I ate a gardenburger without a bun instead of a hamburger! I gorged on watermelon, and ate my two-point-per-cup-fruit-salad that was delicious. I was very proud of myself for the first time in weeks yesterday. In part, I was helped by a quote my sister had taped to her wall. Maybe it will help some of you as well. It goes like this:
A commitment is the honoring of a decision. When you are commited, you allow nothing to deter you from reaching your goal. You are disciplined even when you are not feeling motivated. Discipline is the ability to carry out a resolution long after the mood has left you. Making a commitment is being willing to put forth all your efforts and taking responsibility for the outcome.
Isn't that great? Overall, I had a fun Fourth of July Celebration. I hope everyone else did as well and realizes how blessed we are to be a part of such an amazing and free country. Love you all!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
My Willpower
I have decided that willpower is either non-existent or highly and completely rare. For me, it is pretty much non-existent. Not only in the obvious things like food consumption, but in the less obvious things like going to bed at a decent time. Lately, I have been staying up way too late and sleeping in as late as I can. This leads to several problems. Let me elaborate.
Last night I decided it would be great fun to stay up until almost 1 in the morning playing on my computer. Is this productive? No. Do I care? ...ummmm....no. I was just enjoying my rare quiet time and until I beat a game on my computer, I tend to play it constantly.
I knew in the back of my mind that it was my goal in the morning to wake up before the kids and do my 15-minute jog that I mentioned in my previous blog. But, my game was more important to me at the moment. It's always that way...what's more important to me at the moment is usually what happens without any thought for the future. Finally I dragged my overly wide rear end to bed and fell into a deep slumber with my usual strange dreams. I won't go into those in this blog, we'll save that for another very entertaining one.
This morning during one of those said dreams, I start to hear the rumble of a large truck. My eyes flashed open and I realized that, like all other past weeks, Mike forgot to put the garbage on the curb. So, I jumped out of bed about as fast as Sid the Sloth on Ice Age, or in our family, Sam the Sloth. I whipped on my old kimono that I stole from my parents at the tender age of ten when we had a Japanese exchange student staying with us for a year. I ran to the front door and out into the driveway arms waving, robe flapping behind me. Actually, it wasn't quite that dramatic. I had one arm very tightly holding my robe shut. Don't worry, I'm most definitely not an exhibitionist! Luckily the garbage man saw the highly disheveled, frantic woman with the hair sticking in every direction, much like my youngest's constant stylish look. He took sympathy for me and stopped the truck to wait for me to bring him the can. I felt like Cinderella running down the stairs, "Wait, wait, please! May I try it on?" Except much less gracefully and there was nothing in this whole scenario that I wanted to try on.
I went back into the house and climbed back into bed. You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but my pillows were calling to me and my eyes were having trouble staying open. My idea of running this morning had already run out my window and was halfway around the block by now. I fell back to sleep, resumed my strange dream and next thing I know, I am awakened by the doorbell. CRAP! My daycare kids were there, meaning it was around 9:15 in the morning and I still had not dragged my sorry butt out of bed. Neither had my kids, surprisingly. I put on my trusty kimono again and let them in. "The kids are downstairs," I said. They promptly went down to visit and get the rabbits while I jumped (albeit, very slowly) into the shower in an attempt to wake myself for the day.
Now, the question is: Will I remember this little lesson tonight when I am tempted to sit in front of my computer until 1 in the morning? Or, will I only choose what seems important to me now without regard to what I am really going to want or need in the future. Let's hope for the best, but only time will tell!
Last night I decided it would be great fun to stay up until almost 1 in the morning playing on my computer. Is this productive? No. Do I care? ...ummmm....no. I was just enjoying my rare quiet time and until I beat a game on my computer, I tend to play it constantly.
I knew in the back of my mind that it was my goal in the morning to wake up before the kids and do my 15-minute jog that I mentioned in my previous blog. But, my game was more important to me at the moment. It's always that way...what's more important to me at the moment is usually what happens without any thought for the future. Finally I dragged my overly wide rear end to bed and fell into a deep slumber with my usual strange dreams. I won't go into those in this blog, we'll save that for another very entertaining one.
This morning during one of those said dreams, I start to hear the rumble of a large truck. My eyes flashed open and I realized that, like all other past weeks, Mike forgot to put the garbage on the curb. So, I jumped out of bed about as fast as Sid the Sloth on Ice Age, or in our family, Sam the Sloth. I whipped on my old kimono that I stole from my parents at the tender age of ten when we had a Japanese exchange student staying with us for a year. I ran to the front door and out into the driveway arms waving, robe flapping behind me. Actually, it wasn't quite that dramatic. I had one arm very tightly holding my robe shut. Don't worry, I'm most definitely not an exhibitionist! Luckily the garbage man saw the highly disheveled, frantic woman with the hair sticking in every direction, much like my youngest's constant stylish look. He took sympathy for me and stopped the truck to wait for me to bring him the can. I felt like Cinderella running down the stairs, "Wait, wait, please! May I try it on?" Except much less gracefully and there was nothing in this whole scenario that I wanted to try on.
I went back into the house and climbed back into bed. You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but my pillows were calling to me and my eyes were having trouble staying open. My idea of running this morning had already run out my window and was halfway around the block by now. I fell back to sleep, resumed my strange dream and next thing I know, I am awakened by the doorbell. CRAP! My daycare kids were there, meaning it was around 9:15 in the morning and I still had not dragged my sorry butt out of bed. Neither had my kids, surprisingly. I put on my trusty kimono again and let them in. "The kids are downstairs," I said. They promptly went down to visit and get the rabbits while I jumped (albeit, very slowly) into the shower in an attempt to wake myself for the day.
Now, the question is: Will I remember this little lesson tonight when I am tempted to sit in front of my computer until 1 in the morning? Or, will I only choose what seems important to me now without regard to what I am really going to want or need in the future. Let's hope for the best, but only time will tell!
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