I have decided that willpower is either non-existent or highly and completely rare. For me, it is pretty much non-existent. Not only in the obvious things like food consumption, but in the less obvious things like going to bed at a decent time. Lately, I have been staying up way too late and sleeping in as late as I can. This leads to several problems. Let me elaborate.
Last night I decided it would be great fun to stay up until almost 1 in the morning playing on my computer. Is this productive? No. Do I care? ...ummmm....no. I was just enjoying my rare quiet time and until I beat a game on my computer, I tend to play it constantly.
I knew in the back of my mind that it was my goal in the morning to wake up before the kids and do my 15-minute jog that I mentioned in my previous blog. But, my game was more important to me at the moment. It's always that way...what's more important to me at the moment is usually what happens without any thought for the future. Finally I dragged my overly wide rear end to bed and fell into a deep slumber with my usual strange dreams. I won't go into those in this blog, we'll save that for another very entertaining one.
This morning during one of those said dreams, I start to hear the rumble of a large truck. My eyes flashed open and I realized that, like all other past weeks, Mike forgot to put the garbage on the curb. So, I jumped out of bed about as fast as Sid the Sloth on Ice Age, or in our family, Sam the Sloth. I whipped on my old kimono that I stole from my parents at the tender age of ten when we had a Japanese exchange student staying with us for a year. I ran to the front door and out into the driveway arms waving, robe flapping behind me. Actually, it wasn't quite that dramatic. I had one arm very tightly holding my robe shut. Don't worry, I'm most definitely not an exhibitionist! Luckily the garbage man saw the highly disheveled, frantic woman with the hair sticking in every direction, much like my youngest's constant stylish look. He took sympathy for me and stopped the truck to wait for me to bring him the can. I felt like Cinderella running down the stairs, "Wait, wait, please! May I try it on?" Except much less gracefully and there was nothing in this whole scenario that I wanted to try on.
I went back into the house and climbed back into bed. You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but my pillows were calling to me and my eyes were having trouble staying open. My idea of running this morning had already run out my window and was halfway around the block by now. I fell back to sleep, resumed my strange dream and next thing I know, I am awakened by the doorbell. CRAP! My daycare kids were there, meaning it was around 9:15 in the morning and I still had not dragged my sorry butt out of bed. Neither had my kids, surprisingly. I put on my trusty kimono again and let them in. "The kids are downstairs," I said. They promptly went down to visit and get the rabbits while I jumped (albeit, very slowly) into the shower in an attempt to wake myself for the day.
Now, the question is: Will I remember this little lesson tonight when I am tempted to sit in front of my computer until 1 in the morning? Or, will I only choose what seems important to me now without regard to what I am really going to want or need in the future. Let's hope for the best, but only time will tell!