I was inspired for this post by my sister's post from yesterday, although hers was much shorter than mine will be. But, that's the way I roll...and roll...and roll...I tend to ramble. Anyway, I was thinking about bodies in general, and about mine more specifically. I have never really been a fan of my body since I was about 8 or so. Before that, I thought nothing of it except that it allowed me to do what I wanted like play in trees, dance, sing, make up stories, and just about any other thing a body can do. When I was eight, I remember going to the doctor's office and being scolded for my weight and the potential of being an "obese adult" if I kept eating the way I was eating. That moment in time really stuck with me and I have never been able to shake this obsession I have had since then.
As I got older, I slimmed down as most growing kids do. By the time I reached the end of high school, I was 5'8" and about 165 pounds. Honestly, I would kill to be that now, but at the time, I still thought I was too fat. Then, I went to college and due to living in a small town (Cedar City, Utah), I walked everywhere and since I lived in the dorms, I never really snacked on anything and just ate at the cafeteria when I was hungry. So, I managed to lose about 10 pounds which brought me to the lowest I've ever been as an adult and I felt GREAT! I felt so powerful and beautiful, the kind of feeling that I should have been having all along! Then, I got married and I relaxed quite a bit. I didn't have to impress anyone anymore and Mikey likes me just the way I am, big or small. For that, I am truly grateful, but in some small ways it's a curse because I don't feel like I need to try to improve myself.
This is where miracles started to happen. My body not only gained and lost and changed in so many ways, but I was also able to grow four little other people inside of my body. What a miracle!! Think about it for a minute. I stare at myself sometimes in the mirror, and most of the time, I have a look of horror on my face. But, if I would just think about what came out of that huge, saggy, deflated balloon belly, I might look at it differently. I'm not the heaviest I have ever been now, nor am I the lightest. But, I think I am the healthiest. I have learned over the years that it is so important to treat my body how it should be treated! I need the right fuel and the right exercise to keep myself going. I don't know if I felt so good in college because I was skinny or because of the work I did to get myself that way. Either way, I felt good, and I know that if I do the right work, which will make me feel strong and good, the losing weight thing will follow naturally.
Anyway, I just wanted to share those thoughts with those of you who might be feeling the same way. Have a great day, everyone! And, remember that we are all different, thank goodness! If we were all the same, life would be so boring!!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
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1 comment:
Thank you for this post. I so needed it! You have a way with words and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that gift! ....ya, no pressure. ;) Miss you.
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